Tuesday, September 30, 2008
ARCHERY AND THE MORE VOLUPTUOUS FIGURE
We went to Center Parcs for the weekend - the kids thought they'd died and gone to heaven - the place offers 12 hours a day of activities that they have always dreamed of, unfortunately at about £14 an hour, sorry kids, you are only doing 3 things not 42... Anyway their first choice was archery. Marcel qualified as an adult (gulp) so went off to do it himself. Charlotte was a child so had to do it with a parent. We drew straws - who got to babysit Pudge and Bits, who got to play archery. I got the archery, Thomas got the babies. We were given a short lesson and told where not to stand if we intended to stay alive beyond the end of the next hour and each given a little leather strap to protect the forearm. It was actually fun. Lots was having a ball, and after a few trial shots I got it too. You stand side on, feet shoulder width apart, straighten the left arm out in front of you and draw back your bow string and right arm to your right ear, then you let go and the arrow shoots into the bulls eye... What the man in charge of the lesson doesn't tell you, probably because he doesn't wear an E-cup bra though, is that there is no was to stop the string chopping your left nipple off as the arrow flies towards the target... At this point I was beginning to wonder if there was any way to strap the leather forearm protector to my boob instead of my arm as my boobs were nipping far more than my arm. As the lesson progressed, I slowly got worse and worse at archery as I tensed up in the wrong places and at the wrong times to avoid the inevitable twang. It is a shame because it was quite fun to start with. Maybe next time, with a steel-reinforced bra, it could be quite cool.