Three years

Today Thomas and I have been married three years... so I guess you could say we are celebrating our wedding anniversary... except as we were discussing this morning in bed, this doesn't really feel like our wedding anniversary!

By the time we finally married, we had already bought a house together and had our first child together. Nothing changed per se after that day. We didn't even get a honeymoon (still saving!) And we had Thomas's sister and parents staying with us so we didn't get a wedding night either! Life went back to normal a few hours after the wedding!

I think maybe celebrating the day we moved in together (26-9-06) would feel more like a wedding anniversary but of course we couldn't get married back then - someone held up my divorce to the bitter end forcing it only to go through on 7-1-09. No names mentioned!

One thing is sure though - whether either of these dates, (or indeed the date we first went out), is our real anniversary, I definitely struck gold this time round. Every minute is a joy and the calm he generates around me despite the adversities life is currently throwing at our family give me an inner strength daily. A lifetime together will be too short by half.

The Queen of nonsense

So what has this week seen in the way of engineering and scientific research? (I mean since Wednesday's soup episode.)

Well, for starters she's worked out how to dismantle every remote we have in the TV room, and take out the batteries. Only the actual TV remote has suffered irreversible damage (when she unscrewed and lost the little light at the front of it). I need a very high-up shelf.

I was also rather concerned when I found her standing in front of the TV room bookshelf, her foot on the bottom shelf proclaiming to my father 'this is a ladder' - oh no it bloody isn't!

And today she worked out that despite there being a good 30m (and a double-glazed patio door) between the living room and the place where I park the people carrier, if you steal the car keys from my jacket pocket and press the button that makes the back doors slide open, you can leave the car wide open in the pouring rain to the point where the seat behind the driver is unusable... (it takes about three hours, seemingly)

I guess I have to thank my lucky stars my parents dropped by for a visit and I walked them to their car or I'd never have found out! Otherwise I'd either have got up to a swimming pool on wheels tomorrow, or maybe just a stolen car!

OMG, she just walked by naked, carrying a screw driver! Give me strength (and a play pen with a lid!)

Frozen bubbles

I don't think I can remember such a mild winter in recent history. What did we get? One afternoon of snow? And almost no sub-zero days. It isn't that I'm complaining a lot but I would have liked one freezing day just to try out something my brother pointed me in the direction of on flickr the other month... maybe next year?

TEFL

I taught English in two high schools in France (in 1987 and 1988). For the first month after my arrival, the kids often looked utterly baffled when I spoke, particularly by my vowels. The teachers often asked me to tape things like the weather forecast or news off the Scottish radio to play to the kids so they would be exposed to accents they were unused to. (Obviously it was pre-Internet - yes I am that old!)

I was watching cbeebies with the kids the other day and it got me to thinking about what I'd show the French kids today on the Internet if I was to go back and teach them again. I think I'd show them Octonauts first because of the large variety of accents you come across in each episode. And for the older kids, approaching their bac, I might even sneak in the odd episode of Rastamouse - just to see the look on their faces! :-)

It's time scouting moved into the 21st century.

Léon has been a Beaver (scout) now for about six weeks. He's a very happy little Beaver. He asked to join because his best friend, and indeed most of his class are also Beavers. He wanted to join to play with them on a Monday night. He has had three weeks of archery lessons, and has also done some arts and crafts and played ball games.

Next Monday he has to make his Beaver promise to be allowed to remain a member and to gain his greatly-desired neckie. The family are meant to attend to see his achieve this milestone. I am completely appalled at the religious form this promise takes.  Nothing is even remotely religious in the games and weekly format of the sessions but they insist that to become a full Beaver he must stand and say 'I promise to do my best. To be kind and helpful. And to love God.' It would be cruel to disallow him the same pleasures as his classmates (many of whom are also little unchristened heathens) but it goes against my normal parenting beliefs to have him promise something we as a family do not adhere to. We are bringing the children up without a god, but with a great sense of morality and respect for others and it seems highly discriminatory in this day and age to ban atheists or children of atheists on grounds of their (lack of) religion. So I'm left advising my child to make a meaningless promise so he can play with his friends. It really doesn't sit well with my life philosophy. I think I might have to send Thomas to attend the 'neckie' ceremony on Monday as he's more used to dealing with 'religious situations' than me. I'm not sure I can stomach it.

Our new cook

She's so bloody fast, that one, when it comes to cooking!

I just couldn't stand another day of bread at lunch time or toast so I decided to make some home-made leek and potato soup. I'd fried the onion and leeks, simmered in the leeks and potatoes and the lovely vegetable stock and then just remembered I had some delicious fresh, flat-leaf parsley needing used up in my fridge.

Amaia was helping me stir the soup but it was safe enough, on the back burner with the handle out of reach, so I took the two steps towards the fridge. It was then I saw her in slow motion out of the corner of my eye. She reached out for the half-full Schwartz-type jar of chili flakes and quick as a flash emptied it in its entirety into my soup! I darted back and scooped out at least two full teaspoons but the rest had sunk.

Thomas and I did manage to eat it, just, with a lot of cream and a hanky to catch the drips from our noses but I swear it was borderline... almost like she'd grated two scotch bonnets into it!

Besom!

Ever wondered why insurance costs so much?

We're still having our storm damage fixed (and probably will be till the cows come home) - well the bits the experts believe were caused by the storm as opposed to the bits that sprang leaks on the day of the storm purely coincidentally...

Anyway here's how it works.. (why it takes so long and how it costs so much!) We're insured with a company called Paymentshield (for now). They came with the mortgage and we didn't bother looking further afield, or rather we did but they all cost the same so couldn't be bothered. So when you make a claim with Paymentshield (somewhere down south), they subcontract your claim to another company called Repairnet, who judging by accents are somewhere in the north of England, so they subcontract the roofing and internal repairs to a Central belt company called Donaldsons, and the glazing to a Scottish locksmith called Evander Glazing and Locks. Donaldsons, when you ring them, only deal with subcontracting insurance work to smaller local comapnies so they send out Evana roofers to fix your roof but if you also want them to look at a wall when they are out anyway they stand scratching their heads saying they don't know anyone who deals with walls! Give me strength! Talk about layers!  I think I am paying for a middle man too many in this equation!

When did the world go mad?

We've been dealing with insurance companies since our storm damage the first week of December 2011. They no longer assess then pay you the money to get your repairs done, they now send people out to repair the damage. On paper this stops you fixing it yourself and spending the pay-out on a new carpet or whatever, but the result in our case is madness.

Part of our flat porch roof felt blew off in the storm. The porch roof started to leak. The porch ceiling and porch wall have been destroyed. The insurance company has been out at least three times to look at it, never telling us what they were covering and what they weren't. Finally we got a schedule of repairs stating that the felt would be replaced, the ceiling and wall replaced and redecorated. That seemed to work for us - though we were a bit annoyed at running about with buckets of water for nearly three months.

On Wednesday last week our porch roof was replaced. The internal works have not yet commenced... just as well. This morning we wake up to torrential rain. Of course I have removed the buckets and replaced our coat stand because the external roof has been replaced. I come home from  the school run to our new ornamental hall waterfall. I ring the company our repair had been subcontracted to and tell them that I have an in-porch swimming pool and they call up my records. Oh yes madam, we have a note here that there are three issues with your porch roof - the felt, which is covered as storm damage, the pointing and the loose rough cast above the porch. Neither of these are covered so the new roof won't stop the rain coming in, to stop that you need the other two problems fixed. I point out to them that no one either at their office or my insurance company has ever mentioned the two other issues and given I am not a builder it is fairly logical for me to assume that having a new roof installed is likely to stop my leak. I point out that they could have told me this three months ago so I could have had it fixed then. I even point out they could have given me a quote for it last week when they were sitting on my roof, but nope - they were carrying out to the letter what they'd been told to do. I ask tentatively what the plans are for my internal insurance repairs and they actually, without embarrassment, claim they intend to come and carry those out as soon as possible, without informing me that my roof is not watertight and that the damage would simply recur instantly. That is not of their concern, they say! I am truly gobsmacked at the madness. When did pragmatism and sense exit the country?

More on the cowboys

A few years ago I mentioned the cowboys who had been (invisibly) let loose on our house before we bought it. I thought we'd seen the last of them... I was wrong.


Our dining room window has been letting in bucket loads of rain since Bawbag. I assumed given it was hit with the full force, something had been loosened. The insurance company doesn't seem to care that it went from watertight to leaky overnight - if Bawbag didn't shatter it, it doesn't count... grrr. 


I had a look round it and decided that perhaps renewing the sealant round it might help. This morning's perfect sun gave me the chance to get out there and pull off the old sealant. And when I did, what do you think was holding my dining room window in place for the last 5(+) years against the elements? Yes, you guessed it of course - three rolled-up newspapers, an extra large Primark man's T-shirt and an out-sized pair of Y-fronts. I don't know about you, but I am so glad we forked out £400 for the full survey when we were moving in so nothing bad could creep in under the radar!

New glasses

Léon got new glasses on Friday - his eyesight has improved slightly since last year. He was adamant he should have the same glasses as Anna, but in blue - he just loves blue glasses for some reason. Anna's glasses have been driving me mad since we got them because they didn't give her the thinned down lenses and anti-glare coating that Léon has always had on his as standard. Because Léon's need to be thicker, the optician thins them automatically. Because Anna's lenses are slightly thinner to start with, I would have needed to ask to have them thinned - I'll know that next time. So ironically Anna's glasses look thicker than Léon's and that means the result is that my flash bounces horribly off Anna's in photos but is fine in Léon's. If you have specky kids, never ever forget to order the thinned down, anti-glare glass or every photoshoot just becomes a nightmare of retakes. (Roll on Anna's next appointment!)

Yummy food

Thomas brought us back loads of French culinary goodies from his business trip yesterday. It was just like Xmas. We had confit de canard, confiture de coings, confiture de châtaignes, fois gras, tartelettes au chocolat, cassoulet and choucroute garnie in tins, loads of different saucissons secs and lots more. We're currently munching our way through a big bag of Violettes de Toulouse.

Amaia's language

I love Amaia's language. She's a bit sloppy - like she listens to most of a word, then improvises the rest. Hence she calls Léon (Pudge) Putch and a hat is a hap, a boat is a boap and so on. She calls the kids Me, Anna, Putch, Mardel and Baby - Charlotte is just too big to be bothered attempting. She can say it, I've asked her to repeat it, but it's just too much hassle in her opinion!

This week she has added a new word - a hut, as in Mummy I love you, gimme a big hut, or I've fallen over, can I have a hut?

So sweet!

More engineering adventures

As if all the microwaving wasn't bad enough, she's been at it again...

Obsessed with unscrewing lids and bottle tops, I am finally understanding after five kids why the kiddie-proof tops were invented for medicine and bleach - I don't know, maybe the rest of my kids just aren't very curious...

But last week took the biscuit - it started with the dissection of a ball point pen, followed by the dismantling of a pocket torch. I was proudly presented with two batteries, a lightbulb, a spring and three sections of the torch. But a few hours later, we had a real emergency. We had a guest sleeping in our living room who suffers from sleep apnoea and has a rather sophisticated machine to help him breathe at night... or rather he did till Amaia spent an hour alone in his bedroom taking it apart and then presenting us with its every constituent part! Arrrrgh! A good hour was spent by several panicking adults reassembling it without a manual before anyone could go to bed that night!

I need a play pen.

Potty-training theory

I have been thinking a bit about potty training norms recently, how they differ in different countries and how they differ to previous generations.

All of my kids were trained around their 2nd birthday. It never took more than two or three days and subsequent accidents could be counted on one hand.

With Marcel and Charlotte, I had no experience so trained them on their 2nd birthdays then kept them in night nappies perhaps another 2-3 months so they were completely dry by the third month after they turned two. By Léon, we tried taking the nappy off at night time within a week of day time and surprisingly that worked fine. With Anna and Amaia, night nappies were used for two nights after potty-training and again, all went smoothly.

When I have mentioned this people are in general surprised. Here in Scotland no one is ever surprised they are dry during the day at two, though it is around the earliest people attempt it here, however reactions in Denmark are always of great surprise. I don't know if their later school start perhaps makes them see their children as younger than we do but I have never met a Dane who thinks two is normal... Two years ago for instance, when we attended Peter's 70th in Copenhagen, Anna had just turned two and was the youngest of all the grandchildren (they ranged to 13 months older than Anna) and the only one who was potty-trained.

Anyway, this is turning into a cultural comment, when I was simply wanting to make an observation about human nature... On surfing through Mumsnet and the likes last night to confirm my gut feeling, I found out that although almost all Brits potty-train before three, many kids are still in night nappies till four or even five. Whole forums are dedicated into how to finally get them out of night nappies, advocating you can't take them off until they are dry through the night for a week and the likes. I wonder, given my own experience, if people are creating their own problems? If you reach quite late into childhood still wetting your nappy, it is your norm, if you have been taken out of night nappies at the end of babyhood, your norm will be staying dry at night. It has worked for me, five times over...

Thomas's new Toyota

When Thomas told me he'd asked his parents for a new Toyota for his 40th, I got really quite excited. I was to find myself wholly underwhelmed when it turned up in a box! ;-)

(I never did like sewing).

Hereditary coulrophobia?

I blogged six years ago how much I hate clowns. I have never mentioned it before or since. Lots, my beloved daughter, thinks I blog through a hole in my head and never reads anything I write - prides herself in ignoring every ounce of my wisdom in fact... so tonight I nearly fell off my seat...

She spent the afternoon with Olivia and Sara from school. I asked what she had been up to and she moaned she'd watched a film that had frightened her half to death... I asked if it was a horror movie and she spontaneously came out with 'No it was about clowns - I'm terrified of clowns!'

How odd is that? Given I've never mentioned anything to do with clowns, how could Lots have inherited that trait?

Digital TV – Audio description

Léon and Anna have been getting a bit annoyed recently because a voice in the background has started describing everything happening on screen when they are watching Octonauts. I thought it was a new series and they'd simply changed the format until tonight when Peter (my father-in-law) was watching a crime series on ITV3 and someone was doing the same on there. Suddenly the penny dropped... it must be some sort of seriously annoying audio description for the visually impaired that someone has accidentally switched on, on our freeview box!

I thought I'd google it. Bingo!

I am going to be a major hero tomorrow (if I manage to switch it off, that is).

Boxes - the best toys in the world

I wonder why I ever spend any money on lego, PS3 games, colouring books, dolls, pirate boats and so on...

Thomas had some brewing equipment delivered in a large box on Thursday and the three little ones have since abandoned every toy they own to sit in the big box for hours on end.

It has been a space rocket, a pirate ship and the train to Hogwarts! They have installed seating now and decorated it and earlier today I even found Charlotte (12) fighting the little ones off for her place in the driving seat of the train!

Thomas's birthday

Thomas shares a birthday with the teacher in charge of Anna's nursery class. On arrival on Wednesday, she announced it was her daddy's birthday. Mrs Richardson asked what age he was turning. Anna looked blank and then replied 'I'm not sure but he had a four and a zero on his train! I'm sure the teacher quite understood what his train was!

The shortcomings of using plastic clogs as slippers

I bought a pair of these as slippers recently. I hate having cold feet but couldn't stand using my summer clogs as the plastic is freezing first thing in the morning. I wanted something that was waterproof even in pouring rain or deep snow so I could take out bins and vegetable waste without constantly changing into shoes. They are absolutely perfect... or so I thought until I decided to give my husband a loving embrace one night! I reached up to put my arms around his neck and nearly set his ears on fire with the static I'd built up shuffling round the house! I have since singed my finger on the screw holding on the light switch cover too! I am beginning to suspect I could become rather unpopular if I don't buy myself a more conventional pair of slippers soon!