Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Steak and ducklings!


(Overheard after school today...)

Charlotte: What did you have for lunch today, Amaia? 
Amaia: Duckling
Charlotte: Duckling???
Amaia: Yeah, we got pieces of steak with ducklings on top!
Charlotte: Dumplings maybe? 
Amaia: Could be!

I thought for a moment the school lunch hall had gone all cordon bleu on us!

Scary stuff


I'll just leave this with you! Gulp!

(Have a look at the gallery on this page too)

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Political indoctrination, maybe?




Sometimes, usually in fact, life with five kids is fairly harmonious... very occasionally though, little tiffs can occur... tonight was one of those nights. Léon and Anna got into a fight about who could throw a basketball further (as you do!) They were out on the street so I didn't hear it all but I heard Léon winding, and I heard Anna shrieking as if she was being tortured (which of course meant only her pride was being hurt, as that is much worse to Anna than anything else!) As they both stormed back into the garden Anna was shouting at Léon about cheating and other things, Léon was grinning calmly (something which winds Anna up much more than any anger or aggression would!) Anna shrieked and shrieked and cried and grumped as Léon waited patiently to get a word in and when she'd finally run out of steam, Léon floored me with the following calmly-spoken comment: Anna enough! Would you please talk to me like I'm your brother... you're standing there screaming at me like I'm... I dunno... David Cameron or something!

I, of course, reacted in the only way you can to such a classic line - I ran for a pen and post-it note!

Broooooom

About two years ago I bought a sprig of broom in a pot - it was literally one stalk and cost about £1-49. I planted it in front of my front door and did nothing special or encouraging. It likes it there, it really likes it! In fact for some reason it has developed a life of its own. It looks a bit like a 170cm tall blond afro half way up my path. You can't help but love it, it's so vigorous. And it smells great too!



Saturday, May 21, 2016

Ten years

Apparently it is ten years ago today that I joined blogger. I have
more kids now, a different job, a different home and a different husband! I've lost people close to me and gained new friends. I've definitely acquired a few grey hairs and numerous wrinkles, but what wisdom?
I must read through my posts and see how those ten years have changed my life. 

Friday, May 20, 2016

Chancer

I'm beginning to suspect my daughter has inherited her parents' love of school PE!


The conversation in the car went like this:
Amaia: See on Monday, mummy? Can you write a letter for me to take to school saying I don't need to do PE?
Me: Why is that? Have you hurt something?
Amaia: Well... I do have a rather itchy midgie bite on my ankle at the moment!
Aye, right!

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Over breakfast in the garden



Anna: You know those wishing wells, mum, where you throw in money and make a wish?
Me: Yes - like the one we saw at Edinburgh zoo last month?
Anna: Yes! I always wish for our family's circumstances to improve - you know so we could go on a nice holiday or buy a new seven-seater so we could all go on day trips..., but it never seems to work.
Amaia (completely matter-of-fact): Naaah, they definitely don't work.. cos I always wish for you to be a bit less moany! 

*spits breakfast across the table* - sibling love - it gets you every time!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

"To have it all"

As I was getting dressed this morning I could hear my wee-est three discussing whether or not they 'had it all'. Having just returned from the kitchen, I had missed their definition of 'having it all' so I listened in from the next room to see what they meant.



Anna: Well, it's definitely not me or Amaia. We don't have it all.
Amaia: What about Charlotte. Oh no she's missing one.
Léon: Marcel then?
Anna: Hardly!
Amaia: It's Léon! Léon has it all. Oh no, he doesn't because of us two.

And so it went on... In then end I had to ask. It turns out that they believe the ultimate prize in life would have been to have both an older and a younger sibling of each gender! So Marcel is ruled out as they are all younger, Charlotte has no big sister, Léon is missing a little brother, as is Anna and Amaia is in the same boat as Marcel. So none of them 'has it all', after all.

It's a sweet measure of life's perfection, though!

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

May the fourth be with you!

So it's so-called Star Wars day, and even more than any other year Léon is fit to burst with excitement. He's refusing to do all homework and is wandering around humming the tune. Since the latest offering the girls are also getting in on the act, chatting excitedly about all things Star Wars... and although it is nice to hear such enthusiasm from these young and innocent souls, I find myself being short-tempered and snapping at them. But it's not Star Wars' fault. I want to snap at them to leave me in peace today, to think of my beautiful friend Sheina, who I still miss and whose birthday we'd have been celebrating had she not died four years ago at just 45. But the kids were just tiny then and they don't remember a lot about that time, so I'll stick on my smile, and watch Star Wars though my thoughts will be elsewhere.

Tuesday, May 03, 2016

I was worried there, for a moment




Conversation overheard between my wee girls: Anna: What's your dream job, Amaia? Amaia: emmm nun! (I panic that my atheistic tendencies aren't rubbing off and plan a full assault... when I hear the clarification.) Anna: You can't choose none, you have to choose something! Amaia: Ok then, I'll be a waitress! PHEW! wink emoticon

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Bilingualism




One day last weekend Anna came out with this and it got me to thinking: I wonder what it must be like to have only Scottish relatives... everyone in your house would speak the same language all the time... weeeeeird! 
 All of my children have heard a minimum of two languages every day of their lives, the first few years it was English and French, latterly English and Danish: and with a succession of visitors adding German, Italian, Norwegian, Georgian, and Polish amongst others to the dinner table (and that's without even mentioning Scots). TV, of course has added Swedish, Icelandic and Spanish to that as well. I'm not sure I remember the last time I watched anything in English on the TV. 
 I guess the main point is that they fully understand two languages each and also understand many bits of others. You can't sit at the table for years without picking it up. So they have a feel for what multilingual normality is. They are completely unfazed if they don't fully understand everything being said around them because they know there are so many different languages in play at any time. 
 It reminded me of an eye-opener years ago. I was sitting in my garden with a French friend and her kids. We were speaking French, our kids were speaking a mixture. A neighbour's child (a ten year old) who had been doing French at school asked to play so I invited her in. My friend shouted some instructions over to her kids and the neighbour looked really puzzled. "Why is she speaking like that?" she asked. I explained that she was French so although her kids were bilingual as they lived in Scotland, she spoke to them in French, even if they usually replied in English (a bog-standard bilingual child's way of communicating with their foreign parent). The child replied "But she's speaking it really fast!" I relayed that French is spoken much faster in reality than what they learn at school but still she couldn't understand how the kids all understood it without a second thought. Eventually she explained to me that although she had learned some French at school: Il fait beau, je vais bien, la pomme est rouge, etc, she hadn't understood that it was in fact a full language that people used to communicate! She had been brought up in such a monolingual atmosphere that she thought English was the only language people used to communicate and that the little phrases she'd learnt in French were of no more everyday use than memorised poems or mathematical formulae. She had never heard people actually communicating in another language. I think I was as gobsmacked by her lack of linguistic experience as she was by our nonchalant mixed communication. 
 I find people are often taken aback by the real way bilingual households communicate - that is to say, the foreign parent speaking their language and the kids who've grown up somewhere else replying in that language. Of course, when in the other country the kids can switch to that language but generally when you live bilingually, everyone speaks their strongest language at the table. I remember being bemused by this the first time I visited my first husband's parents (he was French with a German mother). She spoke only in German, he replied just as fast in French. Had I not been studying both, I'd have been completely lost. At first I figured they were weird and unique but as every one of my kids has since followed the same pattern, unprompted over the years, and Thomas too speaks to his German father mostly in Danish, I realized it is simply human nature. 
 I do fondly remember a night last year when I spent the evening with Thomas and Peter (his father). We were discussing Greek politics and the ideas of Yanis Varoufakis, quite vociferously, for a few hours and it was only when I was lying in bed later that night I found myself smiling at the realization that I had spoken only in English, Thomas only in Danish and Peter only in German that night and yet all of us had fully understood the conversation. I wish I'd recorded it to show just how much fun these kinds of households are!

Monday, April 25, 2016

Cats


























I grew up with cats. First, there was the grumpy, chunky one with the odd name 'Snoopy' (we were kids!). Then there was the skinnier, more placid lapcat 'Muffin'  (named by a friend of the family who stepped into our squabble over what to call him, with the simple statement 'He's kinda muffin-coloured, isn't he?') So from 1981-1996 I was around cats a lot of the time. Although the cat stayed with my parents when I left home as a teenager, I was his holiday babysitter. I haven't had one of my own since, originally for the simple reason that with family abroad, I was away too many times a year to bother with the holiday cover, but latterly more because I've lived on a bus route since 2007. I figure with a double-decker passing every ten minutes, 19 hours a day, it'd have to be a very street-wise cat not to end up dead meat and I don't fancy having to scrape the kids' dearly-beloved off the road once a year. Hence the succession of (safely-caged) hamsters...

However, I always sort of figured I'd spend my old age, once the kids had flown the nest as some kind of crazy cat woman - perhaps a bit like Mrs McTats in one of the kids' favourite books.

As early as fifteen years ago, I started to notice Persian cats were starting to make me a wee bit wheezy, but normal moggies were fine... then a few weeks ago Charlotte and I visited a friend with a cat. Lots had told me she'd been having sneezing fits every time she was around her friend Hannah's cat, and sure enough, as soon as Siobhan's cat wandered in Charlotte's nose started to run. I was fine though and even let the cat sit on my knee for a few minutes. On the way home, however, I started to feel as if my airways were literally clogged with fur and I started to wheeze. By the time I got home I was in a much worse state than Lots and it took antihistamines and three blasts of an asthma inhaler to make me comfortable enough to get to bed and fully 24 hours to get back to normal. So I've monitored it since and it seems I have indeed developed an allergy to ordinary cats of the type I used to live with. My doctor has now advised me to try having coffee with my friend who owns a golden retriever as she suspects that fur is my trigger. 

Am I really going to have to end up a crazy old woman with a house full of these?


Saturday, April 23, 2016

Children really make you laugh

Winter walk in Crookfur

Overheard on a car trip:
Léon: ...then I'll pretend to be a serial killer...
Anna: what? 
Léon: it's someone who steals your breakfast before killing people!

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Big man, little girl

It's funny. When you have nearly 13 years between your kids, you wonder what, if any, relationship they'll have growing up. But one thing that has always been obvious between my oldest and youngest is the sheer pleasure they derive from each other. Marcel has a greater need to return to the nest more often than most teenagers who've left home, because he feels he too has some sort of parental responsibility for his youngest siblings. And Amaia is absolutely thrilled every time he walks through the door. She loves her Monday school news to be something about her ever-so-exotic brother who lives in Edinburgh. She drops him nonchalantly into conversation when classmates are often still sharing a room with their less-interesting siblings.



I'm not sure who looks more pleased here. Marcel because of Amaia's obvious pride in hanging off his arm, or Amaia for having such a big and exciting brother she can boast about to the other p1s.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Sweet misunderstandings


One of the p1 teachers at Amaia's school left over the Easter break to take up a new job at the primary school on Millport. Amaia is quite upset about it but was trying to see the positives for the teacher herself last night. I had to smile when she explained 'Poor Mrs Cameron used to have to drive very far to work in our school but now she's going to Millport, she'll have so much more time with her own kids because she says she's going to be going to work every day on a fairy*!'

What a sweet image that conjures up!

* This misunderstanding may in part have arisen from the teacher's Australian accent!

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

No cake today


Scanning some old photos last year, I came across this one, taken on 5/4/86. I remember it vividly because Derek and I had thought it a great joke to buy him an age 4 and an age 3 card, so he could wear 43, his age that day... as you can see though, he had the last laugh!

So today he'd probably have been wearing 37, I guess. But he isn't and there will be no birthday cake, or tomato soup for that matter. The only thing we'll have today, like every other year since we lost him, are more memories to add to that ever-growing list of things he missed out on. Memories both good and bad. Last time, I started to list those memories, but I don't know that that helps, so I'll just get through the day quietly, as I do every year.

Monday, April 04, 2016

Just appalled

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Charlotte has been doing some past listening papers for her Nat 5 Spanish exam. She then goes on the SQA webpage to check the marking schemes to see how she's done. 

Yesterday she turned up in the dining room completely appalled: You shouldn't go on the marking grid for Spanish, mum! she warned... I just did a passage on how modern technology and the Internet can be bad for kids' development and you'll never believe what it said in the marking grid!! It said you got a mark for mentioning that as a result of being online, kids are reading less books!!! Can you imagine - you get a point for saying less books - books are countable!!! And she wandered off, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. She's my girl, and she knows me well!

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Following in her brother's footsteps...




although in a more westerly direction...

Back when Marcel was in fourth year at high school, he was chosen as one of the forty pupils in his year (of 250 kids) to be given the opportunity to take part in the India World Challenge. The kids spent a year fund-raising before flying to India where their time was split between trekking through the Himalayas, through a natural tiger reserve and working on a project to bring water to a mountain village that had no water supply. Although the digging and carrying in the heat was hard work, getting to see how these simple people lived and getting to help them changed Marcel forever and he came back an older, more mature and incredibly caring young man. He will always remember the gratitude in those villagers eyes and in the warm hugs of their children. So when Charlotte got the opportunity to apply last month for the equivalent experience, this time in Nicaragua, she jumped at it and hoped that her determination would show through her more reserved character. I hoped too that the school would see beyond her shyness and pick her as one of just forty kids once again. Many pages were written as an application explaining what she thought she could bring to the expedition and then the waiting game began. Today (I'm hoping the fact that it is April Fool's Day is meaningless!) it was a very smiley girl who jumped into my car at home time, despite the torrential rain and freezing temperatures. I wasn't expecting her to have heard back yet, but she proudly pulled a letter from  her pocket offering her the chance to follow in her brother's footsteps, helping those whose lives are a bit different to her own. I hope she comes back as humbled and inspired by it all next summer as her brother did two years ago! I'm proud to see both her caring nature and her wanderlust rewarded with this opportunity.


Tuesday, March 22, 2016

I've never been a fan!




Amaia has been a great sleeper since she was about one. I can honestly say I can't remember the last time she (or for that matter, any of the others) turned up in our bed. She's a content wee soul without a worry in the world... that was until someone decided to teach her about religion!!! This morning around 5am, she turned up in our room scared witless and squeezed in between us. Happily, she calmed down and went back to sleep and given how small she is, we didn't bother to bump her back into her own bed. By this morning, I had completely forgotten to get the reason behind it all out of her and off she went to school. Over dinner, I suddenly remembered what had happened so asked what had got her so scared.
"I had this horrible dream someone was doing that thing to me that they did to Jesus!" 
"What? You dreamt someone was crucifying you?" 
"That's it!"
Poor baby.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Celebrating the lack of celebration


Today, in some parallel universe, I am celebrating my silver wedding anniversary! Even writing that down seems insane as I don't feel old enough to be celebrating twenty-five years of marriage, but then again, that was probably a great part of the problem. I am not old enough to be...

By 1991 I had been seeing my boyfriend for six years. Six whole years! We had travelled Europe together, lived in our own little flats in France together and studied together. When you are 23 years old, six years is a sizeable chunk of your past, and it's an even greater part of the past you have memories of. Any doubts I might have had before my big day were quashed by the knowledge that I had invested so much of my past in that relationship, that it would be madness to start again. After all, hadn't my own parents married even younger, hadn't my mum been 23 when I was born? And my husband-to-be was 27 so we were a fine age... I loved speaking French, I loved France and French culture so I'd have been mad to turn away the opportunity of being married to someone I could speak French to all day and all night. I was even getting an exotic name in the package. It was perfect... except it wasn't. I think more than anything I was in love with an idea but my greatest mistake of youth was that in looking backwards, I forgot to look forwards. Yes, six years was a large investment, but the sixty I had ahead of me should have set alarm bells ringing. I just didn't have the life experience to hear them.

Of course, if I could talk to 23-year-old me I could not advise against it because the children I got from that marriage make up half of my life today, but let's just say that if my own kids suggest marrying at 23, I will be first in the queue to suggest living together for another six years first!

If my marriage was underwhelming and lonely, my divorce was spectacular in its bitterness and has, by today, reached a point I would never have chosen to go to myself. So today I will celebrate thoroughly the fact that I now live with my best friend, a man chosen when I'd reached the right level of maturity to commit my life to someone, and with my large blended family and I will not regret that other universe for one second in time.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Naked schooling?




Fed up with always having to wear her dreary uniform, Amaia sweetly asked this morning: 'When's the next dress if you please day, mum?' 
Isn't it amusing how slipping up on just two letters can change the meaning so much?! Lol.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Big birthday bash?


Here's a photo of my parents' wedding, 51 years ago. On the right of the picture is my dad's dad (William Buchanan) and my mum's mum (Jean Stirling). They would both have turned 100 years old this weekend, had they still been alive. That would have been quite a party! Maybe we should throw them one in their absence, or at least bake them a cake.

Something that is important to me

Given my husband has worked here paying taxes for 14 years and his kids have UK citizenship, I am beyond appalled (though not surprised) that he can't have a say in his own future and that of his family. Thanks David Cameron for dumping EU citizens out of the Brexit vote.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Self deprivation

With Pancake Day on Tuesday, and Fastelavn last Sunday, I think Amaia has being hearing a little about Lent over the past week from various sources. Though not from us, as we don't observe Lent, I suspect she's been hearing about the concept of depriving yourself of something up till Easter.

Today she came in from school and announced 'I've decided not to eat chocolate till Easter'. When we inquired why, the answer was simply 'Because'. Fair enough, we left her to it. An hour after school, however, she asked if she could have a drink and a chocolate biscuit. Anyone who knows Amaia knows this was presented as 'Can I just have one last bar and then I'll give up chocolate'! Half way through a caramel Rocky, she reconsidered... 'Maybe I'll give up crisps instead.' Of course later again, walking past the crisp box she reconsidered that too! Finally over dinner, she came up with a real gem. 'I've thought about giving up chocolate or crisps, but I just like them too much, so I have finally decided what I'm giving up for Easter'. I figured she was cunningly going to come up with something she's not fond of such as cold meat or maybe sandwiches, but no she stunned us with. 'I don't like being cold, so I'm going to give up cold weather till Easter!' Good luck with that one in Scotland, pet!

Potential Oscar candidate?

Driving to school today, Anna came out with a very sweet attempt at emotional blackmail!



Anna: We had PE yesterday, mum.
Me: Was it fun?
Anna: (Sighing dramatically) Well, I really struggled, not like the others...
Me: Why do you think that was?
Anna: I think it had to do with sugar... their blood sugar.
Me: (concerned) What?
Anna: Well, Tuesday was Pancake Day mum, so they'd all had pancakes. We forgot to make some this year!

Tuesday, February 09, 2016

What's your name?

Charlotte has been going by the surname Buchanan since she was about twelve but without her (absent) biological father's consent she couldn't change it legally till she turned 16 last month. Needless to say, when that date came, it was her top priority to finally get a passport and bank account that matched everything else that she had already managed to change over the years.




The younger kids have obviously overheard bits of conversations about 'I'm 16 now', 'I'm old enough to change my name' etc. So with the absolute clarity of a six year old, Amaia got it into her head that you had to change your name at 16! One day over dinner, I heard Amaia ask Charlotte (who, of course, she has only ever known as Charlotte Buchanan) if she had thought about a new name for herself. She suggested Sophie, then Holly (the two most common names in her class). Charlotte decided to have some fun with it and told her she was going to change it to Baby-Magic Buchanan. (When I was pregnant with Lots, Marcel was two years old and had insisted two things throughout my pregnancy - 1) that she'd be a girl (I didn't know what I was having) and 2) that she'd be named Baby-Magic!) I couldn't guarantee the gender but there was never any way she was going to be Baby-Magic. When she turned up and we named her Charlotte, Marcel cried for two days solid. I even asked if he wanted to choose between the final two names on our list: Charlotte and Élodie. Nope, he still wouldn't talk to me, feeling I'd betrayed him!

So the surname changing came and went without Amaia noticing any change in Charlotte's name... but it is still leading to some rather odd questions and conversations. Tonight I was lying in the bath minding my own business when Amaia burst in: 'Mummy, see when granny was six? What was her name?' 
Me: 'She was called Ann, even when she was six'
Amaia: 'So did she change it back then?'

This is starting to get surreal!

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Sibling love




I had a very sweet conversation with Anna yesterday. She's eight now and becoming aware of boys. She came in and announced: I think one of the boys in my class likes me. He keeps following me about and talking to me, yuck!
Me: Do you not like boys, then?
Anna: Well, I don't like him! He's boring and just not very clever. When I grow up the only kind of boys I will be interested in will be nice, clever, good-looking, kind boys... just like Marcel!

Awwwwwh!

Thursday, January 28, 2016

My caring little fraudster




I was at the optician today with my mum. She and the kids go every January for new specs. Every other year I join them for new reading glasses but as an adult (as opposed to an under-16 or over 65), I only get a free sight test every second year, so I don't bother paying for one unless I feel my prescription has changed noticeably. While mum was having her eyes tested, I played around with the glasses, deciding what I'd buy if I won the lottery (which I don't play) at the weekend. My prescription feels ok, but my glasses are loose and annoying and constantly falling on the ground when I bend over. To be honest, they're driving me batty at the moment... So, I found a lovely blue pair, tried them and felt how nice and tight they were, then put them back. When I picked Léon up from school I was recounting my afternoon to him. 'Would you really like them mum?' he asked. I told them it was fine, I could live with my current ones. But he's a sweet boy, so he suggested 'They always do two for the price of one in that shop so instead of me getting a spare pair, or sunglasses this year, I'll pretend I want the blue ones (even if they are meant for ladies!) and order them as my spares, then when we get home, I'll give them to you! They'll never know!' I can see one wee flaw, given they'd make up both sets of his glasses the same - he needs +5.00, as he's really long-sighted, but my reading glasses are sitting around +1.50. I'm not sure his kind-hearted, if fraudulent little escapade is really going to help either of us! But he has a good heart, the wee soul.


A missed opportunity, a regret

When I divorced my first husband, my biggest regret was losing his family. Old-fashioned, more rural and from an earlier generation, there was to be no modern 'staying in touch with the ex-inlaws' as enjoyed by everyone else I knew who'd divorced. Of course, the children continued to visit them all for the first six years but I no longer existed. I was a non-person - she who should not be mentioned! Nevertheless, I sent my ex-mother-in-law a photo of the kids every year on her birthday and although it was never acknowledged, my kids reported back that it had appeared on her wall. Over the years I found my brother-in-law, his wife and my three nieces again and I now talk to them often. I've watched over the years as each of my nieces has added two more children to the family. It was easy to talk to them as they were online. My old mother-in-law was in her 70s and had never used a computer so we never spoke again. I told my niece, her granddaughter, about my life and she spent afternoons telling my old mother-in-law about me, showing her photos of my kids and so on. I always hoped that one day I'd see her again. But time was not on my side and when my brother-in-law texted me at 2am last Saturday, that opportunity slipped away, forever. I know why she felt she had to side with him, even although there never needed to be sides between her and us, but I hope she also knew we still loved her. From my niece's accounts of her meetings with her, I believe she did.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Fusion cuisine

I spied this in Asda the other night while I was shopping for culinary items to celebrate what the kids fondly refer to as 'the night daddy talks to a haggis'.


I love the inclusive way Scots are open to adapting their national dish to move with the times!

Creamola Foam

Growing up, I loved Creamola Foam. We went to visit my gran on Friday evenings and the first thing we'd do was check what flavour she had in stock each week. A minimum of one was a requirement, two was a luxury! In the early days I remember only lemon and raspberry, but orange became a favourite once we discovered it. I never really took to the 'cola' variety though. The last evidence I have for its existence is a photo from a 1990 camping trip with my ex husband, and two of my uni friends.

It made me smile when I came across this ebay entry the other day. I wish I'd stocked up back then!


Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Birthday dinner



Like all six-year-olds-to-be Amaia had fixed plans and ideas for her birthday. For about ten months she'd been telling me which kids she wanted to invite round for cake, and her gift ideas came in around Xmas. But unlike most children her age, she seems to have quite grown-up tastes too. When asked what she'd like for dinner on her birthday we didn't get a request for a trip to the local Mcdonalds for Happy Meal, or even a Pizza Express offering. She wasn't content with a homemade kiddie favourite such as mac and cheese or burger and chips. Nope, she asked for rabbit stuffed with pancetta, rosemary, sage, wild fennel and garlic, rubbed with olive oil and oven baked in white wine!!! It's a meal she's only had once before when she was four at her grandparents' Italian friends' house in Tuscany, but it definitely impressed her. Fortunately, we managed to track down two bunnies in Makro and we managed to get the recipe from Enzo and Franco. So when it was served up on Monday evening she was very impressed. So impressed in fact, she told us that she'd have one of the rabbits and the rest of us (including granny) could share the other!

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Marcel

On the Sunday before uni began, I drove my eighteen year old son to Edinburgh to move into university halls. He was upbeat and excited but also a little apprehensive and quiet for him. He would never have admitted it at the time but mums know their boys. Once he'd checked in, he got his key and went to his third floor room. He dumped his stuff and sat down. Thomas and I asked if we could have a wee look in the kitchen too. That was the first time his mask dropped. The usually enthusiastic boy dragged his feet and took about ten minutes to pluck up the courage to walk to the other side of the flat and enter the kitchen. Of course, he was psyching himself up for a possible encounter with an unknown flatmate or two for the first time - a daunting prospect even without mum and stepdad in tow! I remember it well from my own student halls days in Germany and Italy. You dart into your room and sit silently trying to find the courage to visit the communal areas! But he did it. We walked into the kitchen and sitting there was one other boy, about the same age. He was motionless and reserved at the breakfast bar. His shoulder-length was hair tied back and he lifted his eyes but not his head as he nodded silently to us. We left the two shy and quiet boys behind without a chat.

That was four months ago.

On Saturday, not Sunday this time, Marcel decided it was time to go home. As we drove into his street in the dark, our tiny four seater bursting at the seams with food and washing, he jumped out and shouted into the darkness 'Tony, my bro!' I hadn't seen anyone in the street but he'd noticed a figure in the darkness. A young man came running towards Marcel, hand outstretched, before grabbing him in a bearhug. He talked ten to the dozen in a vaguely American-sounding accent about his holiday 'back home in Macau', his hair loose and wild as he gesticulated excitedly. He laughed about their new flatmate who'd moved in since he returned three days earlier and his OCD (and more than welcome) cleaning habits! He helped us empty my car and three trips up and down the stairs later, I felt it was time to leave as the boys discussed getting a pizza for dinner. I struggled to recognize the quiet motionless boy from the breakfast bar in September and my quiet son and they spoke warmly, sparkling with the exuberance of youth. Both Marcel and his flatmate Anton had visibly transformed and grown up since their first meeting. I suddenly wished I was that age again, just for a moment. They looked so full of life, and it was truly beautiful to see. I wish I could have caught that moment on film, rather than just in my head. It's a special time in life.

Suddenly Charles Aznavour sprang to mind - Il faut boire jusqu'à l'ivresse, sa jeunesse!

Friday, December 18, 2015

Why do we buy presents?

...when the box is always so much more fun?




Me: What are you up to guys?
Anna: Oh, we're just sitting in this box and I'm reading Amaia a story.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Humans of New York

If you've read me before, you know I'm a big fan of Humans of New York. Once again, Brandon's left New York and is currently interviewing families of refugees from Iraq and Syria. By putting a face to these people, you can see that the only reason that they are in that situation instead of you, is simply the postcode lottery of birth. I defy anyone to read their stories and not feel a connection.

And if you have a moment, please read 'Aya's story' and help Brandon with his call for her to be helped.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Danish Xmas in Scotland

Last week we went to Ikea's Xmas party to celebrate St Lucia in true Scandinavian style. The kids had a ball as always, as they danced round the tree, in a way you just don't in Scotland - our trees tend to be found in the corners of rooms or against a window with no room to dance at all. We try to attend it every year, in a vague attempt at Scandinavianizing our Xmas!



At the weekend Charlotte helped the little ones make Danish Xmas biscuits. After all she has been part Danish since she was just six years old. She's even introduced her own personal touch (coconut pandan from the Chinese supermarket) and that has added a streak of green through everything. But it is weird really, when you consider that this is our tenth Xmas as part of a Danish family, and we have never spent Xmas in Denmark. Thomas's parents don't tend to spend Xmas there so there's no home base to return to. Thomas does his best to tell us of their traditions and we do our version: we bake the cookies, we make gingerbread houses, the kids make Scandinavian decorations for our tree. The kids watch their daily episodes of their own imported Julekalender DVDs and have hand-wrapped gifts every day unlike their classmates whole tend to have a chocolate calendar. We have real candles on our real tree while all the neighbours cower in terror at the thought of naked flames on a tree. We have no Santa and we give our gifts on the 24th, not the 25th. The children have always known there's no Santa so spend their childhood keeping their guilty secret from schoolmates, neighbours and even the cousins they see on Xmas day. Their eyes twinkle when they greet them with the question: What did Santa bring you? and they play along, knowingly. In fact we sleep late on Xmas morning when every other house in the street has been up and bouncing since the wee small hours. Half tenish is a normal enough time for us to stir on Xmas morning and that is a whole lot more civilized than the 5ams my friends report! We force down the obligatory herring and rye bread with Schnapps for lunch on the 24th, because Thomas assures us that's what we're meant to do, though only so we can secretly get to the duck as that tastes a whole lot better! But is that what Scandinavian Xmas is like? I don't really know because I've never tried it. All dreams of a log cabin in the snow are just that - only dreams.

I wonder if he has managed to make it real enough for the kids to carry these traditions on into their families when they are older or if the fact that we never made it to Denmark during their childhood will eventually lead to them losing that connection? It would be a real shame given the huge effort Thomas has put in over the years, but will they manage to connect it to their roots in a country they sadly rarely visit or will they simply see our traditions as one family's idiosyncrasies?

Ikea Xmas party


As honorary Scandinavians, we made our annual pilgrimage to Ikea canteen last week for salmon, meatballs and a selection of Swedish desserts, topped off with Swedish entertainment and gingerbread tree biscuit decorating for the kids. It's funny how many of the other guests you start to recognize when you go every year (both to that and their August crayfish party) - from some of the staff from Charlotte's school to Glaswegian Chinese woman with possibly the most ostentatious specs in the West! Even the lady who sells the Xmas trees greeted us with 'Oh hello, you're the Danes who come every year!' - creatures of habit, that's us. If our kids have as many kids as we did, we'll be able to fill their ticket quota single-handedly in about 25 years time!







Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Monday, December 07, 2015

Kids will be kids



Thomas: Come on kids, let's tidy up, granny will be here soon! 
3,4&5: Awwwwh! 
Thomas: Don't you want granny to come? 
3,4&5: Yes we want her to come... we just want her to come to messy!

Friday, December 04, 2015

A child's view of our world



Anna: Mummy, you know how Lily is a Syrian hamster?
Me: Yes.
Anna: Are the hamsters going to be ok? I heard there was a war in Syria. Will there be no more hamsters any more? Are Lily's family going to be ok?

Where do you begin?

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Birthday planner


Children really know how to make you feel guilty! 

Today Anna came bouncing up to me: I think it's probably about time I stopped coming into your bedroom without knocking!
Me (searching my recent memory for any time we might have been a bit too loud and terrified to ask!): Really?
Anna: Of course, I'd hate to walk in and find (Gulp, what's she going to say!?) you in the middle of wrapping all my birthday presents. I figured you must have everything bought and organized since it's December now!
Me: (I'm not sure this one has sussed her parents' organizational skills! If it isn't birthday eve (ie 18/12) then the chances of anything being wrapped, or even bought are slim, and slimmer still with poor Anna as her birthday is way too close to Christmas for comfort!) Oh yes, Anna, good idea!

Suggestions on what you buy an 8 year old whose main interest at the moment seems to be human anatomy on a postcard please?!

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Modern times


So I was sitting in the TV room reading to the youngest two, one on either side. Anna was on my left. She started twiddling my engagement and wedding rings around my finger. Then we had a surreal conversation that really makes you wonder how the kids of today's minds work.

Anna: Is this your wedding ring mummy?
Me: The flat one is my wedding ring, the one with the diamond is my engagement ring.
Anna: They're nice.
Me: Yes.
Anna: I guess they are a nice way to remember daddy.
Me: Well yes, but I live with daddy, so I don't need them to remember him by.
Anna: I know but they'd come in handy if say you ever ran away with another man and you wanted to remember daddy after you'd gone!
Me: I'm not planning on running anywhere Anna, I love daddy. (What a bizarre thought! Given I have been divorced, I know exactly how likely I'd be to want to wear my rings to remember an ex-partner!)
Anna: Well I guess they'd work if he got killed by a bus too!

Jeezo - what do the kids of today watch on the telly?!

Monday, November 23, 2015

That didn't take long

Edinburgh streets

I remember the first time I moved away from home and from Glasgow for any significant time, that is to say for a stay of more than a couple of months. I was 19 and I moved to France at the end of August of 1987. For the first few weeks I stayed with my then boyfriend (now ex-husband) in Besançon, then I went on to a teacher training course in Nancy and finally I moved to Bruyères in the Vosges around the second week of September. Bruyères was to be my home for the next ten months. I knew no one and no one I knew lived within about three hours of where I was. I met my German flatmate a couple of days later and she was in the same position. We were to become close, simply because we were the only two strangers in that very close-knit town.

For the first few weeks, I wondered what I had done. There I was in a town of 4000 inhabitants in the middle of nowhere. The kids I was teaching had little interest in learning English. The boys wanted to grow up to work for the forestry commission. The girls wanted to have kids and bake cakes as their mothers did. I felt at the same time that  I had landed on the moon, and gone back in time by about a generation! I couldn't begin to imagine I would ever feel at home in a tiny village after a lifetime twenty minutes from Scotland's largest city. If my degree hadn't depended on it, I'm not 100% sure I'd have returned after Christmas but when I did, something had changed. I suddenly started to feel at home. I began to appreciate the slower pace of life. I liked the loss of my anonymity. When I returned to France, I liked the fact that the woman in the Post Office asked if I'd enjoyed my trip back home. I liked the kids waving to me as they drove by. I had become part of a community. And when I drove out of that town for the last time the following June, it was blinded by tears and with a crowd waving me off. Slowly that had become home and Scotland had become abroad.

Marcel acted very bravely when he left home. He's only eighteen and although he's fairly mature and worldly wise for his age, he looked a little out of his depth as he opened the door to his student room for the first time. After a month, he'd grown up enough to admit to Thomas, who was through in Edinburgh for a meeting so had taken him for a pizza, that the first few weeks had been terrifying. Worse than back in my day when we had communicated through snail mail, he'd spent his first few weeks watching his large group of friends from Glasgow, none of whom had had the balls to make the jump, still socializing together as he sat in a strange city alone. He wondered what on earth he'd done. And of course, given he got into Glasgow uni too but turned it down, he definitely had a feeling of 'if only'.

Fast forward to last Friday. He turned up here as he'd been invited to a party. He seemed lighter and happier. He's grown greatly in the last ten weeks. I asked how he was and he explained that this was the first time he'd come home and realized home was away and away was home. He went on to clarify that when he left Edinburgh he'd said goodbye to his flatmates and the caretaker in his building because he knows them well. At the bus stop into Edinburgh he'd spoken to a little old lady who is often at his bus stop, he'd greeted the bus driver who he also knew and had spoken to the Polish lady in the coffee shop who serves him when he passes, but on arrival in Glasgow he became anonymous. The bus drivers, the shop owners, the people at the bus stops were strangers. So although he knew the city well, he felt more at home in Edinburgh than Glasgow.

Although that brings a secret tear to my eye, it makes me immensely happy at the same time. He now has the tools to go anywhere and do anything he wants, whether that is on the other side of the world, or one day back here, only time will tell.

A special bond




When Marcel moved out, I wondered what effect that would have on the relationship between him and the very youngest of his siblings. I wondered if the fact that they were so young would make them less close. It seems those worries were unfounded.

I walk into a room and find that they are chatting together on Skype, often initiated by the youngest ones. They jump with joy when he comes through the door and rush over to sit on him. They trip over their tongues trying to fill him in on what he's missed. They ask how long he's staying over and over.

Tonight, as he went to catch the last train back home, Amaia spontaneously came out with: I love Marcel so much, he's my second daddy!

Monday, November 16, 2015

The madness of the five child household!

"Put your shoes away in the shoe cupboard Amaia, please"

Two hours later... Wow, I love it for its innovation - this is a first!