The decorative ones are too bland to eat so that's hopeless. And they are so soft and gooey that barely three days after you carve them, they start sinking in on themselves and oozing smelly green gunk. And that's when you don't leave the lit - heaven forbid you actually try lighting one.
No, from next year, we'll be going back to good old traditional Scottish neeps (aka swedes to the less informed.) If you can get into them to carve them (granted you need a mini chainsaw) they last for weeks without disintegrating and their insides do have some flavour! We might just try combining Halloween and Burns' night next year.