Friday, March 14, 2008

HOMESICK


Dordogne
Originally uploaded by PhylB
You can't spend 20 years in French family, speaking French and living between France and Scotland without getting homesick once the French life is over.
Of course I miss my family every day, especially my other mum - they were old fashioned - divorce doesn't happen, so they couldn't stay in touch with me and André too. Maybe one day we'll find a way to become friends again. After all it wasn't them I fell out of love with, and I couldn't stay forever just to keep the family I saw twice a year.
For the first time since I was 16 I have not set foot on French soil for over a year and I ache with homesickness - for the smells, the sun, the buildings, the language, the food, the way of life.
When André and I split he kept all the French music, I got the books. I didn't mind because hearing it would hurt too much. Two years on I decided I needed it back - I found my favourite half dozen cds on amazon.fr/used and bought them for less than £20. The first one arrived this morning and it feels so good to listen to - even if all that old stuff: Maxime le Forestier, Brel, Piaf, Barbara, Aznavour, Guichard makes me a dinosaur! That music is part of me. Listening to Maxime now I have to resolve to improve Léon's French level - if André won't take him and speak it to him, I will make sure he doesn't need a dictionary to understand these poetic lyrics when he's old enough to understand them.

1 comment:

Scudder said...

Don't let your heart ache sweetheart ,, you've done enough of that for one lifetime.
France isn't out of bounds to you just because you & Andre are not together ,,
Take Thomas & the kids to France for holidays ,.,. there are cheap flights aren't there ?
Go ,, enjoy ,,, be happy ,,