Tonight has to be up there amongst the 3 or 4 least expected experiences of my life! You're intrigued now...
I was not having the best of days: Pudge grumped and coughed on and off most of the night so I was suffering already from a major dose of sleep deprivation, which lead to rushing to try to get to work on time. Then work itself was a nightmare today as none of my projects showed even the remotest sign of consistency leading me to fear 7 upcoming months of hell. Pudge, tired for some reason, grumped, screamed and kicked all afternoon and to make matters worse I had to wash the car as I could no longer see out the window. At 1 degree Celsius, there are more fun things to do than wash the car and as the water I was using froze onto the road I found myself slipping and sliding around. Next, I got home to find my preset oven had burnt the skin on a lemon chicken sending smoke into every room and therefore creating a cacophony of fire alarms. Things couldn't get any worse...or could they???
Finally, I sat down late to the lemon chicken with rice and veg. Five minutes into the meal I felt a stabbing pain in my left side. It felt a bit like an electric shock, or perhaps a burning poker being shoved deep into my skin. I wondered for a second which side my appendix was on in case it could have burst! Nope, I thought, wrong side. Still the pain and the breathlessness continued. I lifted up my blouse and there was a bleeding hole in my skin, surrounded by a large red swelling! I was not imagining it but what the hell had happened? It was then I saw it buzzing around the light shade hanging from the ceiling. A f@cking colossal (excuse my language but it was) queen wasp. HUH? It is 1 degree outside, it is January, I am indoors, I am in Scotland, sitting minding my own business eating a plate of chicken at the dining table - What the hell is a wasp doing alive at this time of the year, let alone stinging me on the bloody stomach during my dinner!?
Needless to say the death penalty was issued and the bloody wasp lives no more!