Tuesday, September 26, 2006

PARENTING - FAWLTY TOWERS STYLE

It is just as well that by child number three you are past the embarrassed when your children don't behave like angels in public stage! Sunday was the September weekend, so obviously Sunday was pouring with rain - an obvious Science Centre kind of a day. I thought lunch would set us up for a trip round the exhibits. So we went in to the Science Centre café. Marcel ordered haddock and chips, Charlotte beans and chips and I had a cheese baked potato. I assumed there would be enough leftovers to give Pudge something to get him through the day between the three of us.

Marcel and I carried the trays to a little round table in the middle of the completely-full café. Charlotte helpfully took the plates off the trays and placed them on the table while I collected cutlery and salt. From half the café away I watched in horror as Charlotte place a dinner plate with chips and beans at the edge of the table just above Pudge's buggy...yes you can see it in slow motion, can't you? The little hand reached up, grabbed the plate and tossed it nonchalantly over his head. It landed on the floor a metre away, beans and chips flying and landing on all the surrounding customers and the floor, Léon himself didn't even have so much as a bean on his clothing. It was too big to deal with myself so I ran apologetically to the till asking if someone could tidy up the mess my baby had just made while 20+ guests gasped in horror at the scene. Charlotte had also ordered a 75cl bottle of
Irn Bru. She placed that safely, with its top firmly on in the middle of the table. Two members of staff retrieved beans and chips while another quickly made Charlotte a second plate of lunch free of charge (thanks guys - that was very kind). I came over and placed the cutlery on the table. People were finally stopping their staring and gasping. I caught the Irn Bru with my elbow and knocked it on its side but the top was on so no harm was done. I returned to the till to thank the girl for clearing up the mess. Then in slow motion it happened - I turned in time to see Charlotte pick up the newly-shoogled Irn Bru, unscrew the top and watched in horror as the fizzy juice shot 1 metre in the air and drenched all around and the floor once more.

It is a pity my trusty camera wasn't with us that day - though I guess stopping to photograph the aftermath may have antagonized the victims unnecessarily!

Anyone want to buy three kids?!

3 comments:

The Scudder said...

No, but I am prepared to buy a ticket next time you're going out anywhere !! And I'll bring my camera along ( maybe best if I get one of those underwater ones ? )
I actually laughed out loud reading that one !!

The Scudder said...

Hahahaha I just read it again this morning and laughed out loud all over again !

Sebastian said...

At least, they were experiencing some science? Shake a bottle of something with CO2 in it, and it will make a pressure. A bottle of the softdrink will make a pressure of a certain hight!