NINE HOURS IN THE LIFE OF A PARENT

It started at about 3am. We'd gone to bed too late at 12.30 and at 3 the voice shouted 'Daddy, can I have some water?' The annoying thing when your older kids share the baby's room is the baby monitor doesn't just pick up babies - but given we sleep on a different floor, even screaming kids can't be heard without it. I pressed the button and said 'Sleepy time, Anna!' Ten minutes of silence followed. Just as I was about to drop off a wee voice said 'Daddy, can I have some water?' I repeated my end of the conversation. Water was then demanded at ten minute intervals for the next 90 by which time Daddy and I were so awake we might as well have got up and got dressed but I wasn't setting a precedent of turning up with middle of the night water, hugs and kisses in case she decided it was quite a nice occurrence. Eventually I shouted in a rather short-tempered manner for her to be quiet and not waken the whole house up and that I'd see her in the morning. Nothing for twenty minutes. I'd been holding my breath afraid to move, I relaxed, I closed my eyes... 'Daddy, can I have water!?'Thomas finally cracked, marched up stairs and explained to her how to get out her bed and walk over to the shelf with the cups and get herself water and made sure she knew she was meant to do it herself in future.

Finally we could go to sleep at 5. An hour later we heard a shout. I was ready to nail her to the wall when I realized it actually was the baby this time. She was brought down and instantly fell asleep with us. I was beyond caring, it was an hour till school run time.

Marcel had decided to do his paper round at 7-15 instead of 6-30 because he'd stayed up to watch The Apprentice last night. I expected the extra sleep would put him in a good mood... silly me! He was ranting and grumping about how much longer it took to do it when you were awake and aware of delivering papers, instead of in his usual zombie state! I even missed the odd house and had to go back, he growled! Strange child! So he was taking an age to have his shower and do his hair and all things that teenage boys find important. It was 8-25 and he was asking if he could iron his shirt or if I thought the noise of the iron would wake Amaia! He needs to leave at 8-25 and wasn't dressed. I peeked into my dark bedroom to see him with an iron in one hand and a bowl of Weetabix in the other! I made him lunch figuring he'd never get to that task. As I was spreading his bread, Charlotte walked in, also in morning-mood. You haven't filled in my PLP (Personal learning plan) and it is due in today!True enough, but had she given me it or even told me it had been in her bag since Friday? Nope, but that was apparently my fault! (In arguing with Lots, I managed to forget to pack Léon's lunch and only found it sitting on the toaster six hours later!) At least he was being sweet. I went back to the fridge to get Marcel some cheese, telling Lots there was a ten minute window between High school starting and her bell for me to fill in the PLP. The cheese was covered in cream, as was the cucumber... it turned out absolutely everything in the fridge was covered in cream. Someone had tipped over a 300ml pot on the top shelf and when 300ml runs out it can apparently cover four entire shelves of a fridge. Just what I needed on 2 hours sleep. I went to get the car key as Thomas shouted Quick!!!!! What now???? Someone (I am assuming whichever child got the ice lollies when we were watching Alan Sugar last night) had forgotten to close the freezer. We now had an in-kitchen swimming pool and a choice of defrosted items for today's menu.

So if anyone knows what you can make with:

• 6 Swedish cinnamon rolls
• 4kg of sweetcorn
• 1 garlic bread
• 6 slices of svenskt tunnbröd
• 6 rolls
• 3 fruit scones
• 6 potato scones
• 1 bag of lamb stock
• 4 battered haddock
• 4 chicken breasts
• 3 square sausages
• 1 sage and onion stuffed chicken
• 1 IKEA almond cake
• 1 sticky toffee pudding

please let me know by dinner time or I'll have to go on Ready, Steady, Cook!