Saturday, November 01, 2008

BLOODY SORE LEG


Sore leg
Originally uploaded by PhylB
I've had a little pea-sized lump on the back of my leg for a few years. Over the summer it woke me up a few times as it was itchy and often felt like someone was pulling under the skin. I got a hospital appointment and found myself in a department in the Victoria Infirmary that seemed to deal almost exclusively with skin cancer. The doctor hurriedly told me not to worry, I was only there as he was a dermatologist and cancer wasn't on the cards. He analysed it and diagnosed an old mosquito bite that had become calcified under the skin and was irritated. He asked if I wanted it left or cut out. As it itches I opted for the chop.
After a 10 week wait (they don't prioritize mozzy bites!) I suddenly realized my appointment was at 2pm on Halloween - not ideal as I had volunteered to be a vampire at a kiddies' Halloween party at 4pm! Anyway I went along. They were running late, of course, so I didn't go under the knife till 2-30pm. The procedure was interesting to watch - though I have a stiff neck today - have you ever tried lying on your front watching someone chop up the back of your leg for half an hour? The anaesthetic was amazing - my leg was completely numb after less than 5 minutes and I felt nothing while they chopped me up. The 2 nurses were wonderful - so friendly, caring - real stars. I had a lovely half hour - ok they boosted my morale by looking genuinely surprised when I said I had had four kids - they said I didn't look old enough to have had four already - they boosted it further when they looked genuinely shocked when I told them I was forty! I could get used to this sort of positivity, I wonder if I can book an op every Friday afternoon.
The weirdest bit came when the second nurse was doing the paperwork while the first sawed my leg. The first looked suddenly stunned and said - I am about to tell you something amazing. She had lived in my house 1979-1984! She described the garden, the house, even the garage we'd had knocked down 5 weeks ago. Small world!
Anyway, I got out at 3-05pm and made the Halloween party dead on 4pm feeling absolutely fine. The main nurse had warned me the anaesthetic would wear off after 4 hours and I'd need painkillers. By 8pm I was thinking she was quite mad and I felt fine. I went to bed just after 11pm. I woke up and sat bolt upright with a throbbing leg and looked at my projection clock - the ceiling read 11-45pm. Since then I have been wondering why exactly I thought cutting out the itchy bit was necessary. It bloody hurts!

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