So my three biggies have gone to France to see their Oma for her 79th birthday. Oma's birthday is at Easter so most years since 1986 we have gone home for her birthday. It is hard when after twenty years a routine stops abruptly. It is harder still when that routine continues but you are excluded. I have mentioned occasionally when my kids have been home with the family that you never ever get used to losing your entire family overnight. If your in-laws were just someone you saw occasionally, it may be different, but when your in-laws lived abroad and you spent 4 weeks+ a year under their roof, you know them intimately. You don't suddenly stop loving the whole family when you and your partner fall out of love. I guess that is the hardest thing about international divorce. You never just run into your ex-in-laws in ASDA so there is no way to build the bridges you need to build to get some closure.