Thought-provoking

Fractured wrist

I knew as I reached the top of the hill (that the high school stands on) that something was amiss. Léon and Charlotte were standing by the roadside as they always do on a Friday, waiting for me. They were smiling, talking and joking together but I noticed immediately that while Léon was only holding his schoolbag in his right hand, Charlotte was holding both her schoolbag and Léon's PE kit bag -- that's odd, I thought. I pulled up and they got in. 'Oh by the way mum, I think I've broken my arm', Léon joked. 'Seriously? What? When?' So then I got the proof once again that he is a bit of a space cadet...

The story seems to be that he was standing in the busy Maths corridor holding his phone to check a message, between classes (which Charlotte assures me you're not allowed to do!), when an s5 kid, who was rushing to class, tripped over his own shoe and went flying smack into Léon's arm and thumped him against a wall, quickly apologising and carrying on his way, as did Léon, who hadn't realised the enormity of what had just happened. When was this? 10am!!!! He said the pain kicked in half an hour later so he asked his PE teacher if he could be excused from his social dancing class and sit and watch, after that it didn't occur to him to go to the medical room, have anyone call me or even ask a teacher what the best plan of action was... It was my left hand and I'm right handed so I didn't think breaking your arm was a reason to ask to go home! Give me strength!

So I dropped off the girls and went to the Vicky where they confirmed he had a 'buckle fracture' which would probably take three weeks to heal.

At first his main worry was that they might make him sit out social dancing and he didn't want to miss the opportunity to 'get the girls' sympathy!' (like brother, like brother 😉). It turns out they are trialling putting splints rather than plaster casts on them as they are short lived and not too dire, but I expect that isn't the best situation to be in with fifteen days to go to his orchestra Xmas performance - he'll be the first one-handed first violin in the junior orchestra's history - sigh. Mind you it apparently holds his wrist in 'waltz position' so he's pleased!

To cap it all, we don't even get the benefit of a long lie for the first time in five years of Saturday school when he misses his lesson tomorrow as it's the primary school winter gala day and Anna's choir is performing at that!

Cosy reading and baking pizza

Here are some of our other Primary 6 pupils celebrating book week by making story dens and getting cosy with their favourite books. 📚📖#BookWeekScotland pic.twitter.com/8GGcSigtwK

— Kirkhill Primary (@KirkhillPS) December 1, 2017

Isn't this just the sweetest idea for a Friday afternoon in December? The p6 teachers decided to let the kids bring in pillows and blankets and build dens under their school desks, then they got to change into their onesies and read their books with their friends. Lovely to see (half of) Anna with three of her best friends Inishka, Marie-Liang,  and Akshara in this tweet from school.💜

After discovering the tweet of den day, I looked through this week's school tweets and found little Amaia at baking club making pizza too and really enjoying it. Cute!

Here's our Baking Club with the pizzas that they made! 🍕🇮🇹 pic.twitter.com/rWAlpJxXdb

— Kirkhill Primary (@KirkhillPS) November 29, 2017

New word

A great new word that I think will need to enter the general family vocab forthwith...

Amaia to Léon: 'Oh stop being sooo kiddish!' 🤣

Large families

It's funny how you become public property when you step outside the norm...

A friend (who also has five kids) posted this on Facebook today and I can really relate to it. Strangers have actually asked me every single one of these questions, unprompted - in the street, in a supermarket, at the school gate!! They did omit two extras that I've been asked; was it an accident? and were you having a midlife crisis? (and that was when I got pregnant with Léon (no 3) at a mere 37!!)

The one about daycare is actually the one I've been asked most often in recent years - well, to be honest it is usually phased something like: 'I've seen you at the school, you're a childminder, aren't you?' but that's the same idea, no?! Though you'd be surprised quite how often I've been asked if I'm Catholic or if I know what is causing them, no, seriously!

Anyway, for my friends with too many kids, enjoy... and for those with a normal family - this is what you missed out on!

It didn't drive like that in my day!

When I came back from living in Italy in 1986, I was desperate for a Fiat 500 (as you may have guessed by now). They were too old to be readily available (in a decent state), yet too new to be collectors' items yet. The majority of them were beaten and bashed and in a complete state, so I decided that as I wanted to buy a newish (and reliable (that turned out to be a joke)) vehicle, I opted for a more sensible two-year-old Fiat 126.

It coughed and spluttered. It had a top speed of 68mph (110kph)... I managed 70 in it once, (fully-loaded, downhill with a tail wind, I think!) It had a 4 speed gear box and a manual choke. It had the engine in the boot and the boot in the bonnet (opening the opposite way to a normal bonnet, like the old Saabs did in their day). I loved it because it was my first car, but it definitely didn't drive like the one in that video! What fun I could have had if mine had had a souped-up engine like that one!

Parenting a space cadet

I sometimes wonder if you need the patience of a saint to be mother to a 12 year old boy, or maybe  just a good sense of humour. I made chilli con carne yesterday and then popped out to pick Léon up from debating at school at six. On my way home I realised I needed some shopping so told him the only way dinner could be ready for seven was if I dropped him at home and popped straight to Aldi for 15 minutes. He cooks dinner at least once a week so it wasn't that he isn't capable in the kitchen, he's just lacking somewhat in the memory-span department. I emphasised how important it was to the point where he impressed me by taking out his phone and writing himself a note on it. The instructions weren't hard - Put four portions of rice in the rice cooker and press on, then relight the gas under the chilli, but quite low just to keep it warm. What could possibly go wrong? I dropped him at 6:10 and was back by 6:30. I walked in. The chilli was on (a little too high but on at least). The rice was in the rice cooker, with water (no salt), plugged in but no lights on. Léon, Anna and Amaia were happily microwaving three hot chocolates complete with mini-marshmallows, all jolly and happy. 'What was the most important thing I asked you to do, the only thing I absolutely needed you to do?' I asked 'Put on the rice', he replied proudly. 'And is it on?' I asked more tentatively... 'Well it's in the rice cooker, oh it's not on! - one out of two isn't bad, is it?' We ate half an hour late! But hey, at least they had hot chocolate!



Fast forward a few hours. After violin practice, he was last seen heading to his room with his violin carefully strapped on his back, pity he forgot to close the case, and thank goodness for that tiny little Velcro strap round its neck. He spent most of this evening trying to track down the neck rest for it which had dropped out the case as it wasn't Velcroed down... turned out to be in the cupboard with the school juices, where it had dropped out when he had been making his lunch last night while apparently wearing his violin.

Wonder what he'll forget tomorrow!

Living in the mad zone

With each passing day it puzzles me more and more why any EU nationals want to apply for PR (permanent residence) and/or UK citizenship. This week alone we have lost the European Banking Authority and the European Medicines Agency, not that you would know it if you went on the BBC front page news summary; they've not bothered to report it, or if they have, it is so many layers down, you'll only find it if you already know it's there. Those who are reporting it are headlining with the actual number of posts lost in each agency rather than pointing out that international bodies mean international visitors which means hotel rooms, restaurant places, international schools and a whole host of knock-on effects.

And last night in the Commons they decided that one of the highlights of Brexit means not only can we scrap human rights but animals can be voted to have no consciousness of pain etc either. FFS. Who still wants to live here? It's a basket case country heading for the toilet quickly. With each passing hour, I feel more clearly that this is not the kind of country I want to bring my kids up in. I am beyond disgusted by everything the Tory government stands for and if this continues, I will have no option but to leave with the rest of my EU family.

If you do something long enough, someone will notice!

It's not often quote of the day goes to one of the biggies; they've long grown out of the cute stage. But maybe we are entering a more perceptive zone...

Suddenly, without warning, yesterday Charlotte came out with 'Oh my god, I just realized what you do, mum!' At first I figured she meant lexicography, or translating, copy-editing or even the more tedious proof-reading, but no she wasn't talking work!

It was dark, with freezing drizzle and everyone was snapping at each other and generally winding, she elaborated 'You get up to take us to school, even on days when you don't have to work first thing!' It's quite perceptive really; I've only been doing it since 1997 (with an end-date of 2028 now almost in sight)!

I think she'd been in denial till now! And her closing remark? 'And I thought I wanted kids...'

Doesn't look like I'm going to be a granny any time soon!

A weird bunch

My kids were walking down the street together in Edinburgh the other week. Thomas and I were far enough behind that we didn't look like we were together. It suddenly occurred to me that you don't see groups like that walking about. To an outsider, they must look quite a curious bunch. They obviously aren't a group of teenage friends, they can't be students or schoolchildren either, and they definitely aren't a couple with kids. They don't fit into any known mould really and people don't really expect families of five kids, let alone and age spread of 7-20. They are very cute to observe together though!

Surreal video

I was procrastinating the other day before a job when I decided to take a trip down memory lane. Obviously in my youth, you stuck on a cassette, you didn't have music videos on demand. I started looking on Youtube at the things I listened to as a child and found all sorts of amazing footage that was never available to us as kids. This Abba video from '74 definitely stood out as the weirdest one I came across. Maybe I'll set myself the task of finding myself a surreal video a week from now on to give me a laugh.

Rotting crabs

Why don't people use crab apples in Scotland? There are so many trees around where we live and many different varieties as you can see in the pictures below, that Thomas and I collect enough to make jam for the year, every year. So many trees end up looking like this one!





Are we the only apple jelly makers in Newton Mearns?

Glasgow wedding suite

I'm sad they decided to sell the Glasgow registry office not long after Thomas and I got married in it. It felt like the right place to marry and was stunning as well. It's a shame we can't go back there to share others' happy days, or even show it to Amaia who was born after our wedding.

Halloween

This year's ludicrous haul - thank goodness I only let the out alone for 90 minutes or they could have developed full-blown diabetes before they got home!

EU/UK families and Brexit

This is a must-read for anyone who doesn't grasp the complexities of Brexit for mixed UK/EU families.

It's almost laughable to admit that this MSP's situation is so much less complicated than my own that I almost envy her, though of course, I feel nothing but solidarity.

We are in exactly the same situation but a decade further on so it's much more complex. I have the issue of kids half way through the Scottish school system - should I move my 12 year old s1 to a country where he speaks the language (Danish) but has never learned to read it properly and hope he does well enough to catch up before uni entrance exams? Should I drag out primary kids, leaving behind their best friends? Should I leave behind my 17 year old who is in s6 and had planned to go to uni next summer living at home with us (and studied so hard last year to get her six A Highers to get in?), should I leave behind my Scottish mum who's had a stroke and lives alone since my dad died? Should I sell the house I've been paying for for 12 years? What do I do with our jobs, cars, possessions? I'm about to be 50 and starting over from scratch again (given I already started over in my mid-30s when I got divorced) is such an unappealing mountain to climb... I've been paying a mortgage now since 1993, am I meant to start again and pay forever?

Brexit is an absolute disaster for families like ours.

Diversity, but not so diverse

I grew up in the 70s in Scotland attending a 'non-denominational' primary school in a suburb of Glasgow. For non-denominational in Glasgow in the 70s, read Protestant (with maybe one Jewish kid per class). Catholics went to Catholic schools, Muslims and Hindus hadn't got as far as the suburbs so non-denominational meant Church of Scotland religious. Every day started with us all having to stand, bow our heads, clasp our hands and recite the school prayer. I can't tell you now the words of it, even though I was made to recite it every school day for six years. I know it had been written for the school because we definitely mentioned the school by name in it, but for the most part my early school days were marked by me standing with my eyes tightly shut, squirming and out of place, wanting to run away or scream because I felt like I had landed on an alien planet.

Every assembly was conducted by the local CofS minister, a sickly sweet, condescending man who oozed insincerity (to me anyway), most people seemed to love him. There again most people knew him from the weekends, and I didn't.

We were often read bible stories by the scary head mistress too. These made me feel less ill at ease because the stories themselves were interesting enough, but still, I always feared that the scary Mrs Scott would find me out. What would she find out? That I was the freak in the class, the one child who was being raised, unchristened and in an atheist household.

By about p5, the first Muslim and Hindu children has touched down and I often wondered if they felt like me - they had the same dirty secret, that they couldn't relate to all the Protestant prayer and worship, but I couldn't ask, without giving away my own secret.

As I reached upper primary, a quiet goody two shoes in general, I was really at odds with the religious parts of the curriculum. I remember wondering when I would be shouted at for not bowing for the morning prayer. Resolute, I stood there, straight-backed and with my eyes open, and the teacher stared me out. She could not let on she had seen me, without letting on that she too was unbowed and open-eyed. I remained silent during the Lord's prayer, I refused to let my brain parrot it as it was not who I was.

Things have come along a lot in Scotland since my childhood. Classes are mixed now - in my own kids' classes there are Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jews and even the odd Catholic!! Instead of being made to pray, they now teach them about each different religion and its beliefs. Kids are taught in a sensitive manner that even if they have been told at home that their god is the true one, they should treat other religions with an equal degree of respect. They encourage curiosity about each other. It is all very nice and inclusive.

Last month all the kids in p6 in our school went on a school trip called 'Diversity day' - they spent a good number of hours discussing Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Sikhism, Buddhism, and they even went into the Bahá'í faith, but here's what I don't get, they never teach kids about atheism. Not only do they not go into it in detail, they don't even touch on its existence. Looking at recent figures for Scotland, atheists account 52% of the Scottish population, so why does no one ever tell school kids that it's actually ok to be from an atheist family? In the last 5 years I have been to four funerals, three were humanitarian/atheist, one was christian and I am not sure I can even remember the last time I attended a christian wedding in Scotland.

Three or four years ago Anna asked me what our family was because they'd been learning about religions in school. She was about 6 years old. I explained that daddy's parents were christian (Protestant) and mummy's were atheist and that our own family unit was also atheist. I explained what that meant and she felt happy that we too had a label just like all the others. She mentioned it to a boy in her class the next time the topic arose. The boy, from a Christian family, looked her straight between the eyes and announced that if she didn't believe in god, she would be sent to hell and burn for all eternity! Delightful child! There is no way that child would have said that to a Hindu or Muslim child because he had been taught to respect them, but apparently it is ok to treat atheist families with contempt as they are brushed under the carpet. Because atheists don't have specific festivals or places of worship, it is somehow felt that they are not worth mentioning, but that does a terrible injustice to those kids. Until we are lined up alongside all the other faiths, schools shouldn't claim to be teaching diversity, but instead religious diversity.

Anna had a really lovely day out with her classmates, came back wearing a bindi and proudly showing me her name in Arabic, but felt a little deflated too because, as she put it herself 'it was as if we didn't exist'.

The last moments of innocence

Anna's been researching John Muir (from 1838) for school. One of the first facts she found out was that he was one of eight children. Thinking this over and analysing too that her Großvater had twelve siblings, she commented:
'And I thought I had a lot of siblings! People definitely seemed to have lots more kids in the old days, mum, why was that?'
Hmmmm. I try to answer my kids in an honest, if age-appropriate manner, wherever possible... 
'Well Anna, back then they didn't really have any way of not having them.'
'How do you mean?'
'Well, you know how babies are made, right?'
'Yeah'
'So these days there are things you can do to not have babies. There are pills you can take or condoms for example'
'Sure, but why on earth would you need that?'
'Well, adults who love each other have sex, honey'
'Really, why on earth would they do that unless they wanted to have a kid?!'
'Emmm, well adults kinda find sex fun!'
'Wooooah! Really? I mean seriously???? Now, that's just plain weird!'

There is such a huge gap between ten year olds and high school kids! Hahahaha.

Red

Having some fun with autumn colours.   

Need for speed

Charlotte turned 17 in January and wanted to learn to drive immediately (not sure why given she hasn't a hope in hell of affording a car, but I guess I did the same at 17). 

In February she was too busy with prelims, March with oral exams, April and May with Highers, June with going to Nicaragua, July with going to Italy, August with settling back into school, so I figured it was off for this year... 

That was till she started asking about my availability on Thursday afternoons. I work from home so can move stuff about within reason. It turns out that Thursday afternoon is the only time she has free periods when she hasn't volunteered to be a teaching helper for the lower school. So yesterday she ordered herself a car (dual control for £11 for 2 hours). 

It's been a long time since I sat beside someone who has never ever been behind a wheel, the last time was possibly Derek in 1988! When Thomas learnt he had the basics and Marcel took some proper lessons, so there I was with my first millennium baby explaining 'that's the clutch, the brake, and the accelerator, this is the gear stick and that is the hand brake...' She surprised me with a few odd questions like 'are the three pedals in the same order in all cars?' Hahahaha - can you begin to imagine? 

But then she really threw me... I'm not much of a gamer; Candy Crush Soda on my smart phone for ten minutes at bed time is the extent of my gaming. She asked 'You press the brake to stop, right?' of course, then she followed up with 'and once it has come to a stop, if you press the brake again at the same time as putting the gearstick in reverse, you go backwards, right ?' WTAF?????? Sorry? Mind-blown! Well apparently on 'Need for Speed' (something on a PS3, I think), that's how you make your car reverse - the  L2 button (whatever that means!) Why on earth would you make a game that teaches kids that is how you drive a car? Are they insane???? She seemed a bit put out that she'd been misled! Kids today probably think they know how to fly a plane if they've got a flight simulation game 😜.

All in all it went well. She seemed to get the hang of hill starts fairly quickly, though I still need to get it through to her that you don't pull on the hand brake to stop 😂. But we definitely came top of the class that day... The other mum who hired a car with her 17 year old son at the same time as us returned it after just twenty minutes of the two hour hire, citing the fact that she'd got in such a big fight with him that he had pulled the car over and stomped off home leaving her to return it alone! She was last seen making her way to the pub, fuming 🤣.

Such a sweet boy

Léon's school has organised an s3 Maths trip to NYC for the October week... I'm not sure how they got away with that one but well done to the Maths teachers for managing to come up with a reason for needing to go to New York; I don't suppose exotic school trips are usually too high up the list of perks when you're a Maths teacher!

Léon's Maths teacher seems to be one of the lucky ones who departed yesterday, which meant his class had no teacher today. (Their half term holiday started today so this only meant one day with a sub - (apparently these are called 'please-take ( teacher)s' in today's speak, as in 'We had a please-take today' - I do try to keep up with the lingo as best someone can at my age)).

Léon was moaning over dinner that she had not only left a seating plan of his class for the please-take, but that the seating plan had a photo beside each name. I asked why this was an issue. He told me he and his friend had had the idea to swap places and names for the day (like no kid in the world has ever done that before!) but that the seating plan had ruined their fun.

Before launching into an explanation of why this was a stupid idea (citing the example of when Andrew and Dylan had done that in Charlotte's first year class many moons ago, and the wrong one had ended up with a demerit against his name), I casually asked which friend he'd been plotting with. 'Ayaan Shaik', he replied! 'Ayaan Shaik and Léon Buchanan-Widmann?' I asked. 'Yeah!' came the reply. 'The teacher would have been able to tell, Léon', I pointed out. 'Well, I have no idea how', came the sweet reply, 'not if she hadn't had photos!' I love that at 12, he can't see what is glaringly obvious to me at 49. It gives me hope for his world, especially when we are currently living in such horrible times.