BAKED

 

Now here's an interesting study. Given that when Baked is born, she'll have heard a lot of English, Danish, French, German and even a little Italian while in the womb, then this suggests she'll be so confused as to how to cry, she may just have to lie about quietly smiling for fear of getting it wrong!

I'VE ALWAYS LOVED ESTATE AGENTS

Here's a classic, if ever I saw one - just check out that 20 second video. You've got to admire their balls!

A SAD DAY FOR PUBLISHING

It appeared to be a normal day when we got up but it seems Chambers Harrap is closing down its Edinburgh dictionary office after nearly 200 years. Obviously as someone whose lexicographical roots lie in the west of Scotland with Chambers Harrap's main Scottish rival that should mean less competition but I'm afraid it just means it is a sad day for the industry and many of my ex-colleagues and friends who now work for the other side. It looks like we're all going to have to put our heads together to come up with a 21st century way of writing quality dictionaries before the Internet allows inferior products to swamp the market further :-(

PUNISHING DRUNK DRIVERS

I've just been reading this on the BBC. To be honest, it isn't something I've thought about in great depth given I would never even consider driving drunk. But this article got me to think about it. How can banning you from driving as a punishment actually work? The crime you commit is driving drunk, which is illegal. The punishment - in this case apparently - is to ban the woman over and over. Driving while banned is also illegal but if you were happy to drive illegally in the first place then why would driving while banned worry you, given it seems less illegal than driving drunk?
I learned to drive 24 years ago and average 10 000 miles (16 000km) a year. Despite having driven more than 240 000 miles (384 000km) I have never once been stopped by the police or had anyone look at my licence while driving, not here, not anywhere in Europe. If this is the norm, the reckless drunk is likely to carry on driving normally, believing no one will ever check their licence, no?

COFFEE TIME?

Karen and Phyllis
Originally uploaded by viralbus

I was reading yesterday that women who drink a lot of coffee should be aware that it could adversely affect their breast size... bloody hell - I wonder what my boobs would look like if I was a tea drinker? I'm away to make another double espresso!

THE TERMINAL TERMINAL

I don't know whether to shake my head, cry or laugh reading all this BA terminal 5 nonsense.
Thomas took one look at that picture and wondered what would happen if a terrorist now claimed to have put a bomb in one bag. Would they just remotely detonate the whole pile (taking the building with it?)
And I laughed out loud at the story of passengers sitting in the plane watching luggage being put on and taken off 3 times, only to see the whole plane emptied just because staff weren't sure the cases had been scanned properly... That reminded me of my flight out of Barcelona to London on 15-9-01. US airspace was just reopening and we were sitting on an Easyjet beside the Delta airlines flight to Atlanta when a member of airport security came up the stairs holding a large blue suitcase - Does anyone recognize this? she asked... tickticktick? :-) When no one claimed it, the airline staff hauled it down our steps and up the steps of the delta flight, no doubt to ask the same question. Had they learned nothing 4 days earlier?
But why am I surprised at the BA fiasco? When I think back to the pre-Ryanair days, when I always flew BA, BMI or Air France when visiting my French family, I had to go through Heathrow 3 or 4 times a year. They got so good at losing my luggage (12 times in 3 years!), I knew exactly what was in their emergency handout: a toothbrush, hairbrush, soap, a pair of white pants and a white XL t-shirt with a BA logo on it. I acquired so many of them over the years that even now - 9 years on from the last time Heathrow last lost my luggage - I still regularly sleep, DIY, and garden in BA t-shirts as I still have a stock of them!

ANGRY

Humans and their arrogance anger me sometimes. We make judgements about others' situations when we ourselves have not been it their situation. What am I talking about? The case of Chantal Sébire of course. (Here is an article in English too if you don't speak French). What gives people the right to say to someone who is terminally ill, blind, with no sense of taste or smell, in agony and facing a worse day every day that they should grit their teeth and bear it? We don't treat animals this badly.
When my own Gran died in her 60s of a brain tumour her very last words to me were ' I wish I was a rabbit' - The tumour had confused her so I had slowly become used to her talking nonsense over the preceding 6 months, she was a week from death, lying in a hammock because bed sores meant she could no longer even lie on a bed. But she wasn't confused that day - she was scarily lucid - she elaborated: 'then I could choose when to run into a trap'. I was just 16 years old and it frightened me that she had chosen me to confide in. It seems to me that when we get to that stage, often dignity is much more important to us than staying alive a few extra unbearable days.
I, for one, salute Chantal's courage and her decision to kill herself despite Monday's legal fiasco and feel only shame that we make people go to these lengths.

UPDATE ON THE DEAD BODY

It seems the police have discovered the identity of yesterday's body - a young Polish girl: Agnieszka Zabel. I guess she fell from the scaffolding on the building that is being renovated a few doors up from Derek and Amanda. Heaven only knows what she was doing up there, or whether her fall was intentional or accidental.

ANOTHER UNUSUAL DAY

I got up thinking I would take Léon and Anna to the beach or the park given the weather forecast was for sun and 10 degrees. I phoned to ask mum if she fancied coming along. She explained she had to babysit Gordy at lunch time to let Amanda visit her sick aunt in hospital, so I decided taking all 3 to Kelvingrove park might be fun. I arranged to drive mum in. While I was driving up to pick up mum, she phoned Amanda to let her know we were both coming. Amanda explained something weird was going on outside. She said police and an ambulance were outside the flat. By the time we arrived in town, at 11 something, police had erected two tents and blocked the road in two places. I tried to drive into Park Quadrant - no way José said the police officer on the line. Can I enter the street from the other end? (it is a one way street) I asked. No one is getting in or out, he replied. Hmmm - I was beginning to realize it was a serious something. After explaining we had to babysit for a relative, we were finally allowed in - but were told no one was being allowed to pass the police lines. As we went upstairs, two neighbours were arguing with the police - pensioners, they needed their car to attend a hospital appointment - again - no way and no info. They walked off into the distance to hail a cab. After a walk in the park we were followed into the close by the CID - they wanted to interview the Buchanans - they had found 2, but not the right 2. They said they'd return at 4pm. They turned up at 4-15ish. Amanda said she had heard a bang the night before around 11-30pm- like someone closing the boot of their car a little more roughly than usual, but nothing more. She had looked outside to check her car was ok, it was, so she had gone to bed. The CID must have been short of info because they stayed asking Amanda every second of the previous night, taking 4 pages of details down and speaking for nearly an hour and a half. Amazing! Mum and I stayed to keep Gordy out of Amanda's hair while the police spoke to her. We were really great at babysitting. At one point I thought mum was next door in the bedroom with Gordy, Mum thought I was next door in the living room with Gordy - Gordy of course had shut himself in the bathroom, climbed on the toilet, opened the bathroom cabinet, and had squeezed the entire contents of Amanda's Chanel body lotion over the bathroom floor. He knew however that wasn't on because at that point, Derek got home from work and asked if he'd been a good boy, to which he sheepishly replied 'No!' Over the course of the afternoon, we had been supposing that a young male had probably fallen off the scaffolding on the adjacent building and been killed, so we were surprised to hear it was a young woman's body that had been found. Anyway, after the police left I found this on the BBC. I guess we might hear a little more over the next few days. I uploaded the photos I took to flickr. It feels a bit eerie to think Amanda may have heard a young woman die last night, and that she may have been lying there not quite dead half the night... sends shivers up your spine.

HOW SURPRISING!

Léon and Gordon playing together
Originally uploaded by PhylB

I read today with little surprise that Scotland's population is falling because we aren't having enough kids. (Ok, refrain from any comments on me myself)!
Now Scotland, if you don't know it, is a country where the average female graduate salary does not cover two simultaneous private nursery places for under 5s, where the average house price requires two salaries to pay it and where students aren't out of debt from their uni days till they are into their 30s... and they report people are having less than two kids but want more... hmmm - I know I'm no rocket scientist but come on?

ALAN JOHNSTON

I was reading this interesting article about Alan Johnston. It reminded me a lot of reading Brian Keenan's truly fascinating book: An evil cradling just after it came out. I think I read it half a dozen times just to get my head round it at the time. I clearly remember his risking his life making a stance both about underwear and the shaving of his beard. At the time, given I am not a great beard lover, I couldn't understand why he didn't just let them do it then grow it back, but I guess he was fighting for his right to humanity, not for his beard. That is easier to understand with the wisdom of age, I suppose. I'll definitely read a book by Alan, should he write one in the future.

CHICKEN SOUP ANYONE?

All the way to work this morning they were warning us to be prepared for long motorway tailbacks and delays because over a thousand live chickens had escaped onto the road before rush hour! This must have inspired Marcel subconsciously, as he asked if I could make a pot of chicken soup this weekend! What a sight that must have been! Given my drive to work takes just under 2 hours, I was eventually starting to tire of the radio DJ's poor why did the chicken cross the road jokes!

PEANUT ALLERGIES - A HOME-MADE PROBLEM?

 

I read this article on the BBC today with interest. I have wondered for some time now whether we in the UK aren't actually causing this explosion of nut allergies we are seeing. I know several kids with severe nut allergies. Given I work with foreign languages and am known for it in Marcel and Charlotte's school community, I have lost count of the number of parents who have come to me over the years. The question is always the same - My kid has a life-threatening nut allergy, could you translate this into French/German/whatever so I can take it on holiday with me. Invariably the piece of paper I am handed says something along the lines: Can you cater for my child's nut allergy? Can you guarantee your products and kitchen surfaces haven't been touched by nuts? Almost always after the school break, the same parent rings me, thanking me profusely for the translation but saying that the restaurant in France, Italy or Germany has looked at them as if they were from another planet and given them, at best, a plate of pasta with a tinned tomato sauce. The reason being these countries don't seem to be suffering the same explosion of nut problems. When I had Marcel I was told strictly to avoid all nut products throughout pregnancy, breastfeeding and until he was 3. I completely ignored this advice, ate my crunchy nut cornflakes, even when I was in labour and often as he suckled at the breast - why? Because I had eaten nuts all my life, all of my family had and I thought this was extremist scare-mongering. Marcel has no problems with nuts. I did the same with Charlotte - she doesn't like nuts but has no allergy either. Interestingly, while being given this terrifying advice by UK GPs, I was over showing Marcel off to the French family when he was 16 weeks old. I decided to buy the odd jar of baby food for him as it was too much hassle to home-cook on a 1 week trip. And what were they selling in the French supermarket (a country which struggles to understand the concept 'nut allergy' as very few have it?) Nut-flavoured baby food suitable from 4 months old, of course. It doesn't seem like rocket science to me. I will watch the outcome of the study with interest.

TRABI-DAY

It seems to be the Trabant's 50th birthday today so the BBC has a pile of bizarre Trabi photos. Seeing them just reminded me of the 6 months I lived in Germany, in Konstanz in 1989 - that was a very interesting year to live in Germany, remember? ;-) Oh and just for Charlotte since she's into blogging pink cars - here's a selection of pink Trabants!

CHILDCARE

I turned on the radio yesterday to hear that the headline news in Glasgow in February 2007 is that childcare costs a lot! This is news???? It hits the headlines in 2007 that many people are paying out more in childcare than in mortgage. I am astounded they've just noticed. It is almost 9 years to the day since Marcel first started nursery in the West end of Glasgow and even then my nursery fees were 30% higher than my mortgage. They wonder why the population isn't growing, why we are soon going to have more pensioners than kids in this country and in the same breath they mention that nursery costs on average one third of the average person's income per child. Well given most people need to pay more than just childcare - I mean most people have accomodation to pay, food, a car, petrol, insurance of various different types, heating, holidays, etcetcetc and they wonder why we can't shell out 60% of our salary for childcare for 2 under 5s. Give me strength. It isn't rocket science. If they want us to work and have kids then childcare has to cost less than your entire salary, no?

Pudge goes to a lovely nursery - I can't recommend it highly enough, but yes it does cost a third of my income to pay his 5 morning sessions a week :-(

EUROPEAN BOOBS!

While reading his Danish newspaper this morning, Thomas came across an article about breast sizes in Europe. He was more than surprised to see it quoted none other than Glasgow's own Daily Record! Following the story up, he went back to the original article in the Daily Record. Apparently British women have the biggest breasts in Europe :-\ This fact, he said, did not surprise him! However it did make me wonder after a problematic few days shopping. You see I don't seem to be able to find my swimsuit. With both the older kids liking swimming and Pudgy being so at home in water I feel like I should just let him go because he'd be happy to attempt to swim already, I feel they are really missing out on their previous weekly visits to the pool. So about 4 days ago I set out to buy myself a new swimsuit. I tried the usual obvious shops, and they all had reasonably priced one-piece swimsuits, bikinis and even tankinis BUT and it's a bit BUT in my case, they all had non-removable padded breasts. Given I spend half my life trying unsuccessfully to stop my overlarge chest from falling out of an E-cup bra, why on earth would I want padding in a swimsuit? I would look utterly ridiculous! So if British women do indeed need a D cup or greater in general, could someone please pass this important information on to the swimwear manufacturers so we don't all end up looking stupid next time we dive into a pool, please?

DON'T SAY THIS ISN'T CUTE!

Flicking through the BBC's in pictures section as always I came across this collection of baby panda shots. Now you have to admit these are heart-warming, no? It isn't often you see this many baby pandas together, is it?

INCOMPETENCE EXTRAORDINAIRE

I suppose if you are going to cock something up, you might as well do it spectacularly!

MORE DAFTNESS

I read this today. Has this country gone completely mad?

SCOTTISHNESS AND MADNESS

Well, I was beginning to wonder if I had been hearing things earlier. Both Jeremy Vine and Steve Wright had mentioned in several news bulletins throughout the afternoon that the whole of the East of Scotland was on red alert, that Edinburgh airport was closed because of a 'major security alert', that the traffic had ground to a halt, that planes were being allowed to land but the terminal building had been evacuated and they were checking in the later flights in the on-site Hilton hotel. God, I thought, this is major. Of course it was major - if it had been on Heathrow it would have been number one on all the web pages and first story on the evening news. I turned on my computer when I got home at 4pm and the BBC didn't even seem to be running the story. Had I imagined it? I turned on the news at 6-30pm, this time on ITV and listened to the main headlines - again no mention. I assumed it was one of two possibilities - I was barking mad and had imagined the whole thing or it was just the usual - it doesn't count because it is a story about Scotland and here in the UK we only really exist in our own eyes, we certainly don't exist south of Manchester!

Anyway, it turns out to be the latter, as the story has finally popped up in one tiny hidden article on the BBC Scotland web page. Worse still now I have read the scale of the alert, I truly wonder if the world has gone mad. Sure there are terrorists, we have to be more vigilant than 30 years ago but my god, what a song and dance for an ownerless rucksack, no?