BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!

It may surprise you to hear that I don't live in the quietest of houses. This many people can make your living room feel a bit like the M8 at rush hour. I often dream of a quiet bath, alone (without plastic toys) with my thoughts. I imagined that as they grew up things might become more tranquil... until today when Léon (after a schoolday full of St Andrew's day celebrations) said seven words that put the fear of death into me: I would like to learn Scottish bagpipes! Normally the old adage Just say no! should suffice but I happen to be married a Dane (probably the only Dane) whose secret childhood regret is that his parents didn't take him seriously when at Léon's age he came out with: Jeg vil gerne lære at spille på sækkepibe! Maybe it'll be ok - as long as Thomas doesn't find out...

AMERICAN PIE

If you are like me, that is to say in your late 30s or early 40s, you probably grew up with your parents blasting Don Mclean's American Pie at you on long car trips to holidays in England. American Pie is definitely a big slice of my childhood.
I was listening to the radio the other day and a tribute to Madonna came on - celebrating 30 years in showbiz, or however long it has been. I don't mind Madge - I'm not her greatest fan but I'm sure I can sing along to most of her bigger hits from hearing them on the radio. They played her version, sorry crucifixion, of American Pie. What was she thinking of? The woman should have been dragged outside and shot for this abomination! It starts horribly, and if you can hang on in there for a couple of minutes, actually gets worse - amazing!

HEREDITARY TASTES?

When I was a little kid I hated the Xmas song Little Drummer boy. What I found particularly offensive about it was all that 'pa rum pum pum' nonsense. If you can't think of any words that fit into a song, then don't bother. It's a bit of an easy opt out if you ask me, and when it makes up 80% of the song, you really are pushing your luck. I was driving the other day when it came on the radio: the new Aled Jones and that unspeakable man, Terry Wogan, version. I instantly remembered how much it used to annoy me. It being sung by Terry - my least favourite person on the planet - didn't change my opinion of it... Marcel bounced in from school the next day and said, completely unprompted: The school is making us learn that shite Xmas song - Little Drummer Boy - you know the awful thing where they cheat by adding pa rum pum pum pum instead of decent lyrics. That sucks! Are musical likes and dislikes hereditary?

DANCING QUEEN

You Can Dance, You Can Jive....
Originally uploaded by copazetic

Not only did he come to see Barbra with me last month but this week he bought tickets to take me to see Dancing Queen at the Theatre Royal tonight. He's either crazy or he loves me. Neither of us had read what Dancing Queen actually was so assumed it was some kind of Mama Mia type stage play but it turned out to be more of a lavish Bjorn again type tribute concert with a bizarre 70s interlude in the middle - no matter - people were dancing in the aisles like crazy. We were in the front row of the circle and I was beginning to worry it would collapse in that old Glasgow theatre given the shoogling it was doing under the feet of the dancing spectators...it didn't. So it was a nice nostalgic evening, though it finished with a wee bit of a twist. As we walked down the stairs, the fire alarm started to ring, we strolled on then realized it was a real fire alarm so everyone was hustled outside quickly to make way for the 4 (or was it 5?) waiting fire engines. We're sitting here now wondering if we have just seen the last ever show at Glasgow's Theatre Royal, in true Glasgow Apollo style and if it is currently burning down, but unfortunately we are both too tired to walk the one block to check...maybe tomorrow...

Oh and Bart gave only 2 kicks during the entire performance which lasted from 7-30 to 10pm so I don't think (s)he's going to be a wee musical baby like Pudge, just a vaguely lazy lump!

CONCERT PRODUCTIONS INTERNATIONAL AKA CPI - THE EXPECTED RANT

As I mentioned last week, I'm having a wee bit of a fight with Concert Productions International:
When I bought the original tickets for Rome, I of course went on the webpage, deliberately, within half an hour of the sale starting so I could buy the cheapest ones. I would have loved the dearest ones of course, but my bank manager wouldn't agree to that ;-) so I settled for the cheapest. When Rome was cancelled I received a nice message from someone named Ilaria explaining I shouldn't worry as I would be given a chance to buy tickets for an alternative European venue. I was dubious, of course but waited the 8 days it took for Ilaria's colleague Erica to get back to me. Then at 5-45pm, it turned up: an email listing all the tickets still available for all the European venues - of course no cheap ones left in the UK - they now want me to pay £265 per ticket. So I'm to pay tickets at 2.5 times the original price, lose the airfares to Rome and re-pay for new airline tickets to London.
I have sent a nice compact email entitled 'your unacceptable offer' to Erica asking the email address I should write my official complaint to.
Watch this space...

CONCERT PRODUCTIONS INTERNATIONAL AKA CPI

Well if you think I am usually a bit of a ranter, prepare yourself for a whopper of a rant...
Barbra, as I mentioned last month, is coming to Europe for the first time in 13 years. And when does she choose to come - right in the middle of my bloody (unchangeable- because-of-a-wedding) summer holidays. So I'm left with about 3 of the dates that I am actually available for. I check flight prices and decide since it is equally expensive to go to London or Rome, I might as well pop off to Rome. I go online and actually manage to get tickets, great - result! So I book flights to go to Rome for a weekend - Ryanair of course - cheap and non-refundable but why would I need it refunded...unless the useless, arrogant, idiotic promoters pull out of the Rome date, thinking they can easily just swap 15 June Rome for 18 June in Zuerich at 2 weeks notice without causing anyone any inconvenience...What are they thinking about? Ok this will slightly upset 200 Italian fans but what they fail to realize is that with Ryanair being fairly reasonable in price, half the tickets will have been snapped up by people who are going to be flying in from all over. She isn't going to every country so this is going to piss off a hell of a lot of people.
I have just zapped off an email to 'CPI' asking where I apply for my flight and hotel refund and when they will forward me tickets at the same price for her London concert...I will keep you posted with the no doubt unsatisfactory answer I receive! (Oh and apparently it is going to take them 20 days to process my refund - by which time I will no doubt be too late to spend it on any other venues - they are going to become more than fed up with me in the near future - believe me.

BARBRA

Barbra is coming to Europe! She must have heard that I went to all that bother to visit her last year so she's coming to visit me instead this time, nice of her! Because of Miriam's wedding it looks like I am stuck with either London, Paris or Vienna, though more dates are still to be announced. I must admit, Paris tempts me much more than London, but anywhere's an option. See ya soon, Barb!

ONE FOR MARGARET?

I heard Cilla Black advertize this earlier today on radio 2. Oops, the first episode was on an hour ago, but never mind, there's a 'listen to the programme again' button on radio 2's webpage for anyone that way inclined. In fact it's a pity Maggie and mum didn't get a note of the crazy Danish family's phone number last week, as they strike me as the kind of nutters who might want to tune in, again and again, to this drivel!

AN ABBA MUST-SEE

Flicking throught the BBC's entertainment pages today when I found this. Hahahaha. I'll definitiely need to keep an eye on Ryanair's special offers so I can nip over to Stockholm next time they're doing free flights. I truly believe it is every true fan's duty ;-)

CEILIDHS

Just flicking through the channels and saw a bunch of people ceilidh dancing. I used to go to the Riverside all the time between about 1985 and 1997 - when you aren't the world's greatest dancer, ceilidhs are a fun and easy option.

I have great memories of there. I had to pretend to be a nursing student once to get in as it was booked for a private do. I also vaguely remember Vivian getting us all in after it was full one night by showing someone else's press pass and saying we were writing a piece on it for a big national newspaper! Another time Maree and I had an eye-opening experience in more ways than one. She got a black eye on a night out simply by following me - the problem being she's at least 20cm taller than me so as I walked under a shelf, she walked straight into it! That was a hard one to explain.

Of course the last ceilidh I went to was on 26-7-97. Maybe that Strip the Willow just before midnight was just one step too far at 39.5 weeks pregnant! (And it must not have been a pretty sight). Marcel, of course, showed up on 27-7-97.

I must get back to dancing.